hari ni anniversary saya. sucks...

yesterday dgn jiwa kentalnya aku ke klinik utk buat test. after more than 14 days late, i was hoping this year we would have something to celebrate. it came out negative. runtuh juga empangan air mata ni. tried to be brave the whole day. tgh buat kuih raya petang tu bleh la sambil menangis2. sekali pndang senario tu mcm bibik kena paksa buat kuih raya lak...hahahahahaha.

so aku decided utk decline invitation ke annual iftar wit uni friends. last year pun tak pegi. aku tak nak ke sana untuk menjadi penonton keluarga bahagia dan tukang banci tahap kesuburan kawan2 @ berkenalan dgn anak2 diaorg.

label la aku ni tak sabar, kata la aku ni tak redha, call me anything. i dont have the energy to go through all these anymore.... i wish i can quit and drop everything so that my loved ones dont have to wait for it with me. sapa tahan beb kalau pagi2 raya asik cakap tunggu zuriat dpd aku...rasa mcm nak bunuh diri aje bila dtg raya tiap2 tahun. tapi, klu mati jenuh la plak kena interview dgn malaikat dlm kubur.

happy anniversary, hubby. sorry.....