setahun yg lalu

saya dah....

        

2010, mcm2 yg saya nak. tapi...saya tak mau listkan. sbb nanti ia sekadar list. happy new year, everyone.

blues

pen merah dah cukup?
pen hitam...dakwat basah, dakwar kering, gel...dah ada?
check la balik pencil case tu...mana tau ada yg perlu diganti.
erm...nak beli kasut baru la..baru semangat sikit..
baju baru ada dah, ha...jom cari handbag.
tudung kena beli gak ni...ish, Ariani tgh sale la.

apa lagi ek?
ohh, meja kat dlm bilik guru tu  lusuh dah alasnya.
letak bunga sikit ke, gambar ke...baru ceria.
eh, tahun ni kan nak main undi lagi kan...geng tak cukup korum la...sapa nak join?
aiseh, spare tyre nmpk la...sempat tak ek crash diet dlm seminggu lebih ni?
nanti first meeting kena mintak senarai nama murid, buku yuran.
pastu kena standby mcm2 mende alah nak ditampal kat kelas...
alas meja, riben, penyapu, tong sampah kena make sure dukup suma tuh.
ok la tu kan....esok bleh start shopping utk suma list diatas.
mari kita KEMBALI KE SEKOLAH!!!!!!
yay!!!!!
eh, name tag aku mana??????

Dalam Hati ada Asam

teringat kepada perbualan dgn tai-chi-mate(?) yg baru join group kami. auntie ni rupanya join taichi utk hilangkan kebosanan n kesedihan sbb baru beberapa thn kehilangan suami. Kanser. kesian dia. jadi masa dia bercerita (dgn bahasa melaysianya yg agak limited) dia menggambarkan rasa pedih di hati dengan ayat " saya kalau cerita pasai abg, tak boleh tahan...ini hati ah, ada asam...". to think about it, agak tepat la penggunaan frasa "ada asam" tu. apa rasa jika kita letak benda masam pada luka kita? pedih kan? haaaa.....tu la rasa dia bila dia teringat laki dia.

jadi tuan2 dan puan2, sedara sedarti, adik, akak dan abang.....

hari ni hati saya ada asam. asam jawa punya hubby olang.....cheh!

mi casa

 

Ini kunci.

Ini kunci rumah.

Ini kunci rumah saya.

Ini kunci rumah dia.

Ini kunci rumah kami.

Ini kunci kebahagiaan kami.

Ini kunci punca hutang kami.

Ini kunci syurga idaman kami.

Ini kunci kepada kurangya 1/3 gaji saya.

Ini kunci chinta, kasih, sayang dan hati kami.

Ini kunci.

Kunci KAMI.

azam bulan Disember

i promise myself. thid December i will make this

(pic courtesy of marthastewart.com)

and this

(pic courtesy of myfirstkitchen.net)

and may be this (notice the pic is bigger? hehehehehe)

(pic from marthastewart.com)

Ambitious? you bet. Impossible? not entirely out of reach. Salivating already? good, because i am. as a matter of fact, i've been thinking bout those calorie-ladden sinful food for a week now. no, not thinking. CRAVING. and no, i'm not with a child. @ least not yet.

kalau dah takde jodoh

semalam ada unfamiliar number called en hubby. tp dia tak angkat sbb tgn dia masa tu penuh dgn sambal ketam. rupanya tu nombor ada sorg sepupu MIL. katanya pihak hospital ada sorg baby boy baru lahir yg perlukan family baru. and since we're childless (much to our families' concern) he thought we might need one (you actually CAN need a child, eh?). Jadi, sbb kami tak angkat phone, takde ada la baby.

ini lah yg aku selalu pegang. semua kat duni ni berjodoh. jodoh bukan setakat nak kahwin-kahwin aje. nak cari housemate berjodoh, nak dpt anak angkat berjodoh, nak jumpa kwn2 lama tanpa dirancang pun berjodoh. betul tak? klu dah takde jodoh tu, ko rancang la, ko calculate la, ko buat la plan A, B, C...tak berjumpa punya.

tapi, kalau dah Allah suratkan utk cross each other's paths...mmg jumpa punya. yg belum berteman, tetiba aje nak kahwin...dipermudahkan jalan pulak tu. klu dah mmg baby tu awak punya, tak plan nak amik anak pun akan terus jumpa jatuh hati dgn budak yg dimaksudkan. klu dah mmg rumah yg awak berkenan tu berjodoh dgn awak, mahal macamna pun tetap awak jadi ownernya.

so, kalau org tanya saya "kenapa tak amik anak angkat lagi?" atau yg sewaktu dgnnya...my answer senang aje. belum jumpa jodoh dgn baby tu. pas tu siap la...kuar suma ceramah agama aku. for the record, masuk semalam dah ada 2 family yg nak bg anak depa kat aku...tapi hati belum terbuka. dan aku tak nak status anak aku diungkit2 masa akan datang....baik oleh org lain, baik hubby atau aku sdr.

adopted child may not come from the womb of the foster parents, but he comes from the heart.

this is for the pantins

this post is dedicated to Iiraku & groom and Bzz & bride. Semoga panjang jodohnya dan kuat iman mereka dalam meneruskan hidup bersama...

hari ni x best

checked e-tukar (online app for transfer). this is what i got....

last saturday, ada sorg minah yr 5 ni sudah bawak bf dia (f3..and aku penah ajar mamat tu dulu). tu aku tak heran la...yg x best tu dok la nak pegang2 tgn dlm area sklh. so aku sound la, "hari keusahawanan ni byk parents and org rmi dtg, please jaga tingkah laku skit." sekali hari ni kat fb dia sudah sound aku...'cikgu  tak reti jaga mulut'....wah, klu dah dlm sklh pun cikgu takleh sound, takyah sklh la cik adik. umur baru 11 tahun dah nak tnjk taiko??? dah la next year aku kena ajar ko. AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

so, zaman skang mmg anak org dah takleh ditegur ye..mak bapak je la yg bleh tegur? tu baru bdk yg jawab... klu mak dia yg jwb mcamana ek? errr...aku ada suggestion la... apa kata kita humban aje dlm laut segala mak nenek peraturan sklh, rukun negara etc bagai... bdk suka, cikgu pun mkn gaji buta je. owh, padan la aku takde anak agaknya, kang anak aku skema sgt..dpt mak tak sporting.

TODAY SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKSSSSSS!

di mana aku?

Baru selesai melayari Saifulislam. terbaca artikel mengenai saudara baru. antara ayat yang tiba2 menusuk di kalbu

    "apakah kamu sudah bersedia kembali kepada fitrah?"

fitrah. adakah aku benar2 berada dlm fitrahku? fitrah manusia makan, minum, membesar, bayi menjadi kanak-kanak kemudian remaja dan dewasa, bekerja, melunaskan keperluan zahir, menacari kepuasan batin, beragama.  sejauh mana telah aku betul2 penuhi fitrah diri sendiri?

aku manusia biasa. suami yang bergelar ustaz, bukan aku. tak boleh melanggar batas2 etika dan agama (mcm la klu bukan isteri ustaz boleh langgar) tapi tak bermakna aku mesti berupa seperti mereka yg segelaran dgnku. aku lemah. kadangkala culas menjalankan tanggungjawab....solat, tugas as isteri, sedekah, ehsan....mcm2 yang terlepas. jadi sebenarnya aku ni sudah menjalani fitrah ke? kenapa perlu ada rasa seperti berhutang dang dihutangi? can we actually keep score with God? klu ada perasaan begitu adakah kita ni sesat? 

sorry, post kali ni berbau personal. sejak kebelakangan ni kurang rasa tenang. maybe ada hutang yang belum langsai dgn Allah. maybe perlu keluar dpd hutan batu ni. maybe perlu buat satu U-turn. doakan saya mendapat jawapan yang dicari. 

the heart definitely grows fonder

the man of my life is away for the 3 days. *sigh*.... dgn sapa aku nak gaduh ni?

culture club

if u wanna know another culture or another country, what do you do? most probably u travel there. i love travelling but with my ciput bajet, i found another way to experience it. FOOD. yup, i truly think food is another way to taste the accent of the culture/country. ewah, mcm travelogue journalist la plak. (that also would be the only reason to my expanding waistline and even bigger hips.)

tapi sungguh...berapa org je antara kita yg mampu nak pergi ke tpt yg kita nak (in my case, the place would be SPAIN. sbb the first book about another country i read was about spain). and since i am considered a mutated ulat buku + couch potato clone by my family...i always ended up craving for the foreign food.

 for instance, Japanese food. it started after Uni where i faithfully followed a japanese drama...cam best je makanan dia. then in maktab, a friend taught me how to eat japanese. i was hooked....smpi la terjangkit lak kat hubby. then i found out that japanese food more often than not rely on 'mirin' (a sweet cooking rice wine). erk...tak halal tu! so i stopped eating japanese until i cant stand no more. i search high and low for japanese recipes and other halal substitute....SUCCESS! i made my own halal version of teriyaki, miso soup and tempura. Thank you Allah!

i avoid Korean drama...because i cant stand my own drama if i was to crave for Korean food...Kimchi looks disgusting, anyway.

not to mention while reading 'Eat, Love, Pray' i was constantly on pasta diet ( to hubby's dismay coz he loathes pasta). spiral, spaghetti, bows angels hair, bolognaise, seafood, vegies, chicken.....anything i can get my chubby hands on. oh, by mentioning Italy, i might as well try to make some of those biscotti. imagine...a strong cup of coffee and slices of toothbreaking, hard biscotti during rainy days. hmmmmmm......

oh, and i follow Martha Stewart. my mind go haywire thinking of all the cookies and cakes..thus the explaination for the sudden frenzy of endless baking. sugar, flour, choc chips, vanilla.....yummy...i even toyed with the idea to enroll in baking classes. gila!

right now, i am reading a book by Katheryn Stockett, 'the Help'. OMG..i swear i could smell those buttermilk fried chicken, peach cobbler and iced tea...eventhough the nearest i've been to american southern food is maybe KFC. hahahaha!

come to think of it all......i might as well install a good oven and cooking hobs in our new house. mana tau kan, dtg giler aku nak mkn yg bukan2.  "darling, is there any sen left to buy me one of these?" *wink, wink*

sabar...sabar

another milestone achievement in my life. as an adult. as i said before...i'm a late bloomer. other friends have maybe bigger, more expensive, prettier and more than one. but this is mine. everything is berjodoh...termasuk yang ini.

our another first step taken together. may everything else will fall in place naturally, too. rumah besar2 ni takkan nak duduk berdua aje, kan? Makbulkan la doa kami, amiiiiiin.

my English teacher(s)

dear Hubby of mine selalu tanya "mcmana awak leh tera BI ek?" tera? dia tak penah dgr lg classmate aku berbual...aku ni standard budak djh 6 je tau. setiap kali soalan tu kuar aje..mesti la terkenangkan kelas 1M1 dulu....

masuk2 je berkenalan la dgn 'singapore girl' ni...ckp siap pelat2 mat saleh lagi. rupanya melayu. nama dia Kartini Kassim. aku duk sebelah dia kut. belajar berbual dgn dia la...aku kan budak kamppung tersesat kat JB.. so bila aku soal dlm BM, sia jwb BI. Bila dia tny BI, aku bls BM. dah mcm ayam dgn itik. hahahahahah! eh, dia angsa la...sbb leher dia pjg jinjang skit. 

lagi sorg, Wawa. skang pki nama Waheeda Wassini. (ha, ingat aku takde kenal artis ke??? hahahaha...tu pun nak bangga). ni pun aku kagum gak sbb bila dia tepon kwn2 SIGS dia aje, mesti nak ckp omputih. dgn mak ayah dia pun nak ckp omputih...kagum, kagum.

then dtg la plak sorg minah Aussie kat kelas sebelah2....Shahrina Abdol Rahman...atau Sheena. ni pun lidah minah salleh. part accent tu yg tak tahan tu..mmg aku tak paham.

depa ni la yg perkenalkan aku dgn lagu2 mat salleh. on of them is Belinda Carlise (ni cik Kay yg ajar). smpi skang jd fave aku..n lagu ni mmg buat aku teringat kat dia. 

and this song

pastu, kat asrama kan...telinga tu mesti nak dgr lagu omputih. kerja aku bila dgr lagu, kat tgn ada kamus. then try cari makna dia.

so, bila suami saya kata saya tera BI, saya senyum aje. sbb skang dia dah kenal sapa kwn2 saya yg betul2 tera BI, jadi dia dah tak kata lg saya tera BI. ;)

budak zaman sekarang

first day after UPSR.
sorg budak dah kantol bawak hp ke sklh. ktorg buat tak nmpk aje sbb bg can, maklum la masa tu jamuan Hari Raya n celebrate abis XM. yg x best tu, bleh la plak pakat ramai2 tgk clip video lucah! mmg tak leh bg muka.

first week after UPSR.
cubaan utk cabut sklh berjaya dipatahkan after terkantol dgn cikgu BM. sapa suruh semunyi blkg kedai buku yg dah sah2 org lalu lalang. tak pandai betul.

second week after UPSR.
bergaduh smpi bengkak2 mata. anak cikgu vs anak mak abah yg takleh diusik. dah kecoh satu sekolah.

third week after UPSR.
kantol lg sorg bawak CD lucah, then org yang sama lari dr rumah. bila dicari, pkl 2 a.m. baru balik. td, tak smpi ke sekolah and ada saksi yg nmpk empunya badan dah tunggu bas dgn beg berisi pakaian.

Allahuakbar! apa nak kami buat dgn budak2 mcm ni eh? pening kepala layan kes mcm ni..esp klu melibatkan benda2 lucah ni.

rojak asma

di suatu petang nan hening.
lokasi : Klinik Adham, Tmn Tampoi Indah

"Cikgu, dpd awak pny simptom ni...awak ada asma la. so, cuba elakkan benda sejuk2, berasap2, berhabuk ye. jgn tulis pki kapur, guna white board. jgn mandi mlm2 sgt and try to avoid iced drink." sambil tersenyum, abg doc tu bg amanat.

dalam hati "dah umur 32 ni pun bleh asma? no iced drinks? hilang separuh nikmat dunia......"

Insya-Allah

Insya-Allah...
dengan izin Allah...
God willing..



saat perjalanan di rintang masalah
kala diri dihambat resah
jika akal merasa gundah

belajarlah meletak takdir di tangan-Nya
tunduklah hati yang megah
runtuhlah dinding ego
sujud pada Qadak dan Qadar
iringkan usaha dengan doa

kerana Dia mendengar
kerana Dia mengetahui
kerana Dia melihat
dan kerana Dia menguji

Insya-Allah...jalan akan dipermudahkan
Insya-Allah...beban akan diringankan
Insya-Allah...doa akan dimakbulkan

angkat kaki

tau tak video yg tunjuk camana boleh terbentuknya bb tu? ala, yg siap dgn lagu syahdu syahdan... ha, td masa aktiviti Tahun 6 Biro Kaunseling tayang la video tu. reaksi yg dpt aku perhatikan :

1) those yg preggy..pegang2 perut
2) students watched with awe
3) those yg belum kahwin kerut2 muka...seriau kut
4) those yg br dpt bb, senyum2
5) those yg ala 'gembeng'..dah nak nangis dah

aku?...angkat kaki, blah dr situ. hehehehehehehe......malas layan.

bend it like....?

wahat do you get if you coughing your lungs out + bending over while sweeping? PULLED MUSCLE!!! that what happened to me yesterday. i was madly coughing and all iknew i had this terrifying pain @ my lower back. then i realised i couldnt bend oever or turn to my right or not standing properly. after 3 hours, the pain became worse. so i went to the doc and he gave me a shot of mucle relaxant and pain killer (which didnt really work..).

i was bedridden the whole day..and i smell of ointment. i cant even cough without feeling any muscle spasm. it hurts so much. i need my husband to help get out of my pants coz i cant bend down. i cant even spit after toothbrushing properly...*sigh*. yg best tu, this whole thingy happens the day after my birthday!! what a coincidence..oh, age really catches up really fast. doc said "no excersice for 3-4 weeks even if the pain has subsided. and no high heels. (WHAT????? but i dont have any flats sandals to wear..selipar jepun ada la)

if you ever feel pain in lower back, please see your doc. rest a while, and put some ice pack on the affected area no longer than 20minutes (to prevent nerve numbing). it really helps. please read this  and this because we can hurt easily anytime. now, where is my comfy cushion and my ever-faithful husband?

malaysia's own vuvuzela

penah main ni tak kecik2 dulu? unfortunately i havent. i've seen it but never played it. it is made of coconut leaves. it is then spun (?) around the fingers to resemble a long shell or sort of...if u want it bigger, just add another leaf at the end of the previous one.

 to secure the leaves, we stick a sharpened vein of the leave (lidi).

 how to play this? just blow it like u would to any trumpet. it sounds like a miniature vuvuzela or an annoying 'peeeeeeeeeetttttttttt' sound. i was told to get a louder sound, you just to make a bigger serunai. see, my 5 y.o. niece did easily (as apposed to me..it took me a solid 5 minute to actually make a decent sound of that serunai).

 nice, eh? oh, you might not want to share the serunai with anyone else. because of the 'accumulated oral liquid'...ewwwwww

eid mubarak, everyone!!!

Saya, Nur Azlin Mohd Jawahir, dengan segala rendah dirinya memohon ampun atas segala salah silap selama ini. those yg baca blog setahun jagung ni adalah mereka yg dah kenal saya since 13 yo di SMSJ...so byk dosa tu. mintak dihalalkan makan minum, mintak dihalalkan ilmu dan tunjuk ajar. klu ada hutang, sila la claim dgn saya ye. jemput dtg umah 'banglo 4 tingkat' saya di .01-30a, Jalan Mawar 3, Tmn Tampoi Indah II. (Ninie, aku tau ko rajin jenguk butik ariani tu, dh dkt sgt dgn umah aku!!!)

have a blissful Aidilftri, people!

from top: atikah, me, ami, angah

ramadhan dan usia

rasanya Ramadhan tahun ni lain sgt. tak sure kenapa. tapi aku tak rapek sgt nak sambut raya. "kegembiraan org berpuasa ada dua. semasa berbuka dan semasa menghadap Allah" dulu aku tak faham sgt maknanya tapi tahun ni aku mmg gembira sungguh masa berbuka. bukan kerana haus tahap gaban tapi sbb waktu berbuka adalah waktu yg paling tenang. suma manusia berada dlm rumah utk berbuka. takde hingar bingar budak terjerit2, takde bunyi motor merempit. aman aje. sahur pun mcm tu. Alhamdulillah tahun ni belum pernah miss lagi nak bersahur atau bangun sediakan hidangan sahur. adakah ini tandanya aku dah tua?

bila gi Angsana, aku rasa teramat disturbed dgn pakaian mereka yg serba tak sempurna. aku tak maksudkan mereka yg tak pki tudung atau tak pki baju kurung. i mean those who wears skimpy shirts and even skimpier skirts. mcm tak tau respect bulan Ramadhan, respect org lain and paling penting mcm tak tau respect diri sendiri.

and this Ramadhan i discovered Maher Zain and Sami Yusuf. i am totally mesmerized by their voices. aku yg bukan peminat nasyid ni bleh tersebak dgr suara yg sgt gemersik ni. sejuk je telinga smpi ke hati.

Adakah ini tanda2 aku dah tua? already? anyway, enjoy these two good looking men and even better sounding voice.

macamana aku bleh lupa nih????

21 Ogos 2004.

tarikh kami disatukan secara sah sebagai suami isteri. gambar? hehehehehe...aku dgn dgn rocknya tak amik jurugambar pun. in fact masa tu aku yg pegang kamera so aku bleh bergambar dgn sesapa aje yg aku nak. mmg agak candid la dgn muka2 comot by the end of the day. kenapa ek aku tak amik jurugambar? erm..sebab :

1) takde bajet sgt....
2) tak suka amik gambar posing2 ala2 manja dpn org yg aku tak kenal
3) aku rasa stupid bila kena posing peluk2 ke, cium2 ke, buat2 muka romantik ke...
4) aku nak amik gmbar sdr....

tapi takdela menyesal, ok gak..sbb aku dpt jumpa kengkawan n sedara mara yg datang. bak kata mak aku, takde la pengantin syok sendiri bergambar. tapi aku suka plak tgk gambar kawin org lain. cantik2 sumanya...mmg fotogenik la kwn2 aku tu. aku je yg tak tergamak nak bergambar...jakun. heheheh

selalunya, org pompuan la yg sibuk2 nak celebrate anniversary kan. aku pun selalu mcm tu. msk tahun ke 3,4 perkahwinan dah malas dah. apa je la yg nak dicelebrate? balik2 aku tgk muka dia, dia tgk muka aku. klu dimasukkan tahun bercinta adala dah tgk muka masing lebih kurang 11 tahun. bukan bertambah ahli kuarga pun...jadi tak ada la ayat "perkahwinan yg diceriakan dengan cahaya mata" or "hubungan yg dieratkan dgn kehadiran zuriat" watsoever. paling2 pun aku masak la best2 skit...ke gi mkn2 tpt best skit ke... dia? hmmph..klu wish pun dah cukup bagus dah. agaknya klu bg hadiah bleh buat pulut kuning. hehehehe.

habis tu, macamana plak aku bleh lupa terus anniversary tahun ni??????? dia plak yg ingatkan aku..skit punya bangga la. (eleh, itu pun a day after br ingat). selamat duit aku nak beli hadiah....hehehehehe. apa pun, terlintas gak kat hati aku supaya jodoh dipanjangkan smpi ke syurga.

(pic courtesy of poshlifeposhstyle.com)

rezeki ramadan

one of my very dear friends akan bersalin. tgh tunggu hari je. adik ipar saya plak tgh mabuk2. inilah namanya rezeki ramadan. rezeki org.... rezeki saya? maybe setakat ni hanya cukup makan pakai n tak terbeban dgn hutang melampau (keta tu hutang kan?). setakat ni sihat-sihat aje. tak de sakit2 berat (sihat ke? klu sihat mana generasi keduanya...). boleh bernafas. boleh mengajar walau kekadang rasa mcm nak surrender...maklumla, saya tak mcm kwn lain yg cemerlang. sya baru nak bertatih mengajar yr 6. Alhamdulillah.

but then..suma org pun merasa rezeki yg sama. tiada bezanya. saya nak yg satu tu..tapi belum kesampaian. tahun ni syawal yg tak berapa best agaknya...kerana terpaksa beraya dgn org yg berbadan dua, kerana terpaksa beraya melawat org dlm pantang, kerana terpaksa hadir majlis berbuka dgn  org2 yg sentiasa ada benda baru utk diceritakan. mungkin tahun ini saya akan beraya dlm gua saja. tak yah jumpa org, takyah susah hati.

saya belajar utk redha...tapi org lain yg tak belajar redha dgn keadaan saya.

....

Berburu ke padang datar
dapat rusa belang kaki
berguru kepalang ajar
bagai bunga kembang tak jadi.

the millenium trilogy

(malas aku nak amik pic buku ni sbb dah dlm kotak.) this book revolves around Lisbeth Salander, a weird sociopath marooned by the society. a few people around her suspect her to be an Aspeger's Syndrome patient but no medical record to claim so. then there is Mikael Blomkvist. a respectable reporter who tried to revel a corrupt business tycoon which he failed to do so. nevertheless, he managed to ruffles a few feather in the govt of Sweden.

first of all, i am no fan of anything Swedish except Ikea. this book is translated from the Swedish version so as a warning, there will be tonnes of hard-to-spell-and-even-harder-to-pronouns names. the book dragged me halfway of its content to actually tie everything together. the first half of the book is  different chapters on Salander, Blomkvist, the Millenium and the Vangers. only then reader will find the connection between all of the story. it's like 3 small paths that eventually lead to one big road. the undertone of the book is business crime, incests, BDSM (yes, i said it right) and violence to women. the first book doesnt really dwell on Salander but highlighted more on Blomkvist. one very outstanding trait of Salander is that she is one of the best hacker in the world.  so by the end of the book, i was quite troubled by the book title because it refers to the tattoo Salander has and the trivias on violence on women in Sweden but not quite reveal who Salander is.

then come the second book. this time more of Salander history is in focus. from how she was first admitted into a mental hospital to how she get a guardian. this time the theme "violence on women" and "individual rights" is more prominent. Salander shows more of her hacking skills. and even more gruesome details on BDSM. and more 'alternative' sex orientation of the European. and more of Blomkvist playboy-ness. i even started to visioning Pierce Brosnan as Blomkvist...yummm. Salander again involves in Blomkvist's quest to bust Sweden prostitution and human trafficking crime. but along the way, she encounters the name Zalachenko, her father and a very dangerous man entangled in the WWW II affairs. to make matters worst, the reporter of the milleneum (Blomkvist's publishing company) is killed right after she met him, so she became the murder suspect. then start the hunting of Salander that eventually involes Blomkvist (to help her), Zalachenko (to kill her), her strange half-brother (to help Zalachenko to kill her), a gangster, a secret police division and a conspiracy to kill her that lead to the next book.

now, this book is even more confusing and must be read with great patience and care. again, more Swedish names and more of its contitutional law. the capturing of Salander leads to the first question "why and how she was admitted to a mental hospital @ the age of 12?". it turns out that Zalacehenko is a spy that is protected by an even more secret and special division in the secret and special division of special Police. which will involes former prime minister, the secretary of defence and the whole gang of law enforcement. Team Blomkvist vs team Zalachenko vs the ordinary police. add in a court room drama, a few bust of the special unit and a gang of highly skilled hackers.....Salander is a free woman. Which really answers to the facts that Stieg Larsson tried to explain about violence on women in Sweden.

there. go read them. with patience. with great, great patience.

hik hik hik!

"b, nanti tolong abg buat Power Point eh. Esok ada ceramah Israk Mikraj." alamak, powerpoint lagi.
"ok, nanti org tolong." walaupun berselindung di sebalik buku, muncungku sudah sedepa.
"tq, my darling!" amboi, manis mulut!
"abang, esok2 kalau ditakdirkan Tuhan Dian nak cabut nyawa org dulu, abang kena tau cari wife baru yg tahu serba serbi...tau internet, tau komputer, tau betulkan brg elektrik skit. sbb nanti sapa nak tolong abg?" mulut cabul + angkat diri sendiri.
" kenapa cakap pasal awak nak pergi dulu...jgn la ckp mcm tu. sedih la....." dgn suara serak2 n mata ada sikit berkaca2. ewahhhh....tertouching plak hati akak! heheheheheh

hatiku berbunga-bunga

tatkala aku terlupa
kenapa aku pilih dia
tatkala aku alpa
dia ketentuan-Nya

apa perlu saya buat?

last year cik abg saya diskandal dgn sorg of our friends...cikgu sekolah dia gak, the irony was..a few weeks before the news broke out, i mildly reminded him that he should be more careful before being friendly to the opposite sex. yes, i was abit jelaous and my internal security system in my head flashed a warning blip that he was in fact a little bit too friendly with her. you see, she was one of his close circle of friends. and she was cenverting to Islam so she turned to us and 1 other close friends for help. i warned him that before the gossip mongers make the rounds @ school, he should listen to me. tapi, tak tak nak dgr kan...dasar org degil. bila itu cerita sudah dijaja oleg mereka yg bermulut longkang, habis la....

saya adalah seorang manusia yg menerima seseorang seadanya. tapi jika kepercayaan saya disalahguna, maka dia boleh dimaafkan tapi rekod buruk itu akan sentiasa digantung dileher dan disebut2 smpi mati. cukuplah saya katakan yg  cinta hati saya mempunyai satu invisible signboard tergantung dilehernya. dan saya juga percaya kpd hubungan platonic antara lelaki dan perempuan. saya sdr ada best friend lelaki yg saya percayai. i found the platonoc relationship is very helpful (accompanied by several religious dos and donts as guidance) for my sanity.

hari ni ada satu parents sudah tak puas hati anak dia kena tindakan disiplin oleh cik abg saya. dia sudah ungkit yg dia tahu tentang 'hubungan' cik abg dgn kekasih gelapnya itu. yg saya angin bukanlah mak budak tu tapi kepada seroang ustazah yang sudah bercerita kisah tak benar tersebut kepada org luar. patutkah saya santau saja pompuan bertudung labuh itu? atau perlukah saya sumpah dia kepada sesuatu objek yg hina?

saya seorg isteri dan berbekalkan peletakan takdir saya di tangan Tuhan, saya merasa yg saya perlu pertahankan suami saya...@ least beri support kepada dia. tapi surveillance mesti kena jalan juga. puas saya pikir2...pompuan bertudung labuh yg bergelar ustazah itu sebenarnya seorang pompuan yg kekurangan bekalan zahir dn batin. ye la...laki dah sakit kan. plak tu duk jauh2...bil air byk la tertunggak. aku harap, ada la lelaki yg sudi mendengar isi hatinya yg busuk tu sekaligus memberi pompuan tu ruang utk merasa bagaimana keadaannya jika dia difitnah dgn laki org.

moral kisah saya tuan2 dan puan2:

1) jgn menjaja cerita org dan jaga aib masing2. keep it anonymous!

2) sila pastikan pasangan masing2 mendapat bekalan 'air' yg secukupnya utk mengelakkan berlakunya meroyan. sesungguhnya meroyan di luar waktu berpantang lebih bahaya dpd meroyan ketika pantang.

alahai mak bapak!!!!

hari ni aku bertekak dgn sorg dua parents kat sklh. semuanya berpunca dpd kisah last two days. hari tu tokey kantin sudah kena ambush dgn ah long sbb tak byr hutang. ini ah long sudah dtg sklh main hon kuat2 smbil jerit2..boleh???? dia ingat tu sklh bapak dia. takde tatasusila langsung.

bersambung hari ni...kesan dpd ambush tu, the second entrance of my school ditutup pintu pagarnya utk suma traffic. tak tau plak smpi bila. aku yg terlambat pun terpaksa pusing balik ke main entrance after baca notis. sekali nak jadi citer bila time balik waktu tengahari, ada 2, 3 mak budak yg sudah gegar gate. marah la konon sbb menyusahkan diaorg nak amik anak...padahal pagi tu bleh plak antar anak kat pintu depan. tak sampai 5 minit, diaorg bleh suruh budak2 tu panjat pagar! biadap betul. bila tgk keadaan dah tak terkawal, aku pun turun la tgk..abis, org lain menonton aje dr atas...kang ada plak gate yg roboh. rupanya ada plak bapak budak yg dah kopakkan gril tu so that anak dia bleh menyusup keluar. how damn rude is that???!!!!!

aku pun tanya la.."kak, kenapa akak suruh budak2 ni panjat pagar??" alasan dia "cikgu, kan jauh nak kuar kat depan tu. anak saya kecik lagi...penat nak jalan jauh. kenapa gate dikunci?" aku pun terangkanla yg semalam ada kes ceroboh jadi pentadbir tutup dulu gate. suma org kena tunggu kat entrance depan. tapi, dah namanya org degil kan, habis suma meninggi suara kat aku tak puas hati. konon anak penat la, kesian la, eksiden karang la...come on la, ktorg dah buat sepanjang jalan tu berbumbung dah, siap ada bus stop lagi. klu takut anak awak eksiden, awak le bergerak ke depan sana tunggu anak awak. apa la masalahnya? the accusing didnt stop. i pointed out the fact yg diaorg dah mengajar budak2 tu melanggar peraturan dgn memanjat pagar.  plaing teruk gate sklh pun dirosakkan.... ada la plak sorg akak tu makin lama suara dia makin tinggi, makin lama makin tinggi kat aku. sekali aku hilang sabar aku pun sound dgn garangnya " akak jgn tinggi suara dengan saya...." eh, dia tak berenti lagi bercakap. "AKAK JANGAN TINGGI SUARA DENGAN SAYA...SAYA CAKAP BAIK2 TADI". terus diaorg senyap n aku pun suruh budak2 tu tunggu van ke mak bapak kat depan.

OMG....naik darah betul aku tgk org tak beradap ni. awak kesian anak awak ke awak yg malas nak jalan jauh sikit amik dia? takde alasan budak tu takleh tunggu depan sebab susur jalan tu suma berbumbung dan kebetulan tadi tgh hujan renyai. yg sorg tu siap pegang helmet n pki baju ujan lagi. Klu mcm ni la perangai diaorg, padan la budak2 kat area Majidi ni mcm samseng. mak bapak pun mcm samseng. dah bagi pemberitahuan pun nak langgar je...agaknya kat padang Mahsyar nanti pun nak marah2 bila tunggu turn bicara lambat lagi....

*sigh* konon nak harap cikgu disiplinkan anak dia, tapi sendiri pun perangai mcm kambing kuar kandnag...suma main redah aje. klu tak nak respek aku pun, ingatlah yg anak dia tu belajar kat situ. malu la sikit...tah2 anak awak tu susah nak diajar. *sigh*

this is for the girls....

after burning midnight oil, bracing dark circled eyes in public, lacking of sleep and drooling over glorious and talented players, this is dedicated to all world cup fanatics.....awie, abg forlan mu itu bisa kasi runtuh jiwa!

lu poyo la mat!!!!!

susah la aku mcm ni. ye, pasal bola lagi. kenapa susah? sbb rmi kwn2 aku yg still bengang team fav. suma org kalah. hmmm... salah ke aku nak happy spain menang? it's their first, man. of course la fans suma excited. bagi la can. aku tak brag apa2 pun kat sklh tau...it's not like i put a giant flag of Espana across my desk (i wish i did, so i can annoy those mamats even more). ye la, game diaorang boring gila. wat do you expect? team tu rmi gila bdk2 Barca. so, takkan nak main mcm keta MU???  nak suruh aku mention psl England ke? full of divas, konon main mcm hebat tp kalah? hrpkan Gerard je, klu dia tu robot pun dah jahanam asik nak turun naik pdg. mana player MU yg ko puja2 tu? mana??? man????? tak meyerlah pun WC ni.

eh mat, masa germany kalahkan Argentina tu, ada aku kutuk team ko? aku puji ada la. mmg dah masa tu team ko bagus nak wat mcmana....kena la mengaku (damn that Maradona the primadonna) kan. so, why so bitter? dah, aku suggest kat ko pegi la simpan jersi germany ko tu smpi euro baru kuarkan. should i mention that ur jersey tu siam punya? oops..kantol sudah. ishhhh...geram aku tau. ko menang ko berlagak, ko kalah ko kutuk org...apa, ko main judi bola ke????????

kucing kuning: nah, amikkk ko!!!!!! ko ingat bulu ko sama kaler dgn jersi german ko bagus? malang la diaorg ada fan mcm ko ni...eat your words!!!!!

* scene diatas adalah rekaan semata2...kucing adalah makhluk Allah yg tak berdosa. just imagine yg kuning tu aku, jg hitam tu mamat tu.

te quiero, mi amor

ini team saya. ya, rmi kwn2 saya yg frust bila german kalah semi final WC 2010 semalam. but best men win, kan. honestly saya sgt berdebar menunggu game semalam tu. dua hari b4 the big game aku dah makan spain tido spain dah. apa taknya, german beb. have u seen hoe they played???? german presicion, my dear...german precision. just like their superb cars. but the young players have to learn more.

spanish football is a reflection of their lifestyle. famous for their long, leisurely lunch and dinner, that is how they played. passing ball to each other in their own sweet time...tiki tika as they call it (mak aku panggil "otek sana otek sini). each player has to has a high level of skills. and small pass to another, they putting pressure to the opposing team. so hasilnya, team itu akan terikur2 rentak spain. THAT was what happen to germany...nothing to do wit paul si sotong itu.

i was stunned to see germany played to spain's pace. spain's winning boiled down to experience, humble (note: amik ko Klose..ckp bsr sgt) and patience. to my friend Kay....sabarlah sayang.

anak sapa ni?????????

ini kaki dia. always dengan selipar. mmg dah standby dlm beg sklh dia. in fact, siap ada t-shirt n seluar lagi. buku? dia tinggal je kat kelas. kuku kaki jgn ckp la...mcm kuku beruang. seluar tu, dah berambu ramba dah. awal tahun ari tu elok je aku tgk. skang.........

atas sikit....seluar tu hanya bergantung kepada tali pinggang dan sebilah (betul ke penjodoh bilangan ni) pin. hook seluar dah lama tak ada. zip tu pun tak berfungsi dah. imagine la klu tetiba tali pinggang tu putus. dah la dia tu jenis tak suka pki seluar dalam. OMG...

hari ni dia tak alih2 pki singlet. selalunya tak pki pun. tapi, singlet tu dah mcm roti kirai. koyak rabak. butang baju tu pun dah tak cukup...warna baju tu pun tak pernah putih. kelabu je...mcm tak pernah basuh. bergosok jauh sekali lah. bau badan? aku pernah suruh dia mandi. siap bagi dia sabun sekali.

ni la dia orangnya. nama dia...ktorg panggil razak. sekali pandang mcm anak takde mak bapak. spend sehari suntuk kat sekolah tanpa tujuan. sgt malas dan degil. ada mak bapak..tapi tak tau apa fungsi mak ayah dia. bapak pulak sikit2 belasah anak. dia pernah datang dtg kesekolah jumpa cikgu2 tapi aku tgk mcm tak berminat je....selamba je...sepatah haram pun tak berbunyi. razak pernah datang sekolah dgn mata lebam dan ada sekali tu berbekas luka kena parang.

kesian anak murid aku ni.......aku rasa ni lah anak murid yang aku ingat smpi bila2.....

...

pernah tak rasa mcm kita dah mencapai sesuatu yg tinggi tapi tetiba kita jatuh?
atau mcm dah nak sampai ke destinasi tapi rupanya kita mengundur?
atau mcm dah nak grad to rupanya kantol satu paper lagi?
atau mcm dah genggam bintang tapi rupanya kelip-kelip?
so close yet so far?
aku pernah. in fact, tiap2 bulan.
dan aku dah mula bosan.
dan aku tak tau kalau ia berbaloi.
atau maybe tak la seindah yang digambarkan.

teguran untuk diri

terjumpa videos ni. PEKKK! ada jugak yang sebiji terkena muka sendiri. so, ini adalah peringatan untuk diri sendiri...if you find them very useful, Alhamdulillah. every man and woman is a da'i, kan?


aurat....ye, bini ustaz pun lalai jugak..huhuhuhu!


Pernah buat? hehehehe......


this is a hard one...byk sgt benda cantik2 nak ditengok!


Masya-Allah....malu sendiri plak!


huiiii...bahaya, bahaya!


hidung tinggi, berlagak, sombong, poyo, cas bagus...semoga kita semua tak tergolong dalam kumpulan ini.


we have parents and we will be parents one day.....


DUSHHH!!!! adeh, sebijik lagi kat muka sendiri!!!!!

as i am writing this, ada la pulak 'angel' kat sebelah telinga cakap "Jangan kat blog aje tau...pastu macam gitu jugak"....dush! kapow! slap! amik ko kena lagik!!!!!!

"hehehehe...baik, ustaz... :-)"

memories of football

Memory 1
masa aku dlm umur 7-10 years old, Abah masih lagi larat nak stay up utk lyn bola. he would wake up, boil some water and then ktik,ktik,ktik...the sound of spoon banging the big old mug (mug tu dia punya sorg, org lain takleh guna) and a heady smell of Nescafe. for 90 minute, the household would briefly woken up by his "arghhhh!" or "goal!" or "ish!". skang dia dah kurang dah layan bola nih..awal2 malam tu ada la...dah malas nak bangun mlm buta lagi. dah tua...hehehehehe.

Memory 2
Aku kat matriks masa tu. Kolej Chedang. baru je enrol dlm dua, tiga hari. masa tu tgh Euro kalau tak silap. hati ni dah gundah gulana sbb nak tgk England main. masa tu terminat kat Beckham n gang MU. so aku pun tanya2 la sesiapa yg nak tgk bola...suma tgk aku pelik. nasib baik ada sorg minah klate tu nak tgk Itali...tapi tak de minat sgt. then masa odw gi kafe, terdengar ada guys yg tny pak guard (kitaorg panggil Achik) bleh tak jgn kunci cafe awal sbb nak tgk bola....Achik kata boleh. heheheheh..nak menyibuk gak la. so, after dinner, aku n minah klate tu pun turun la...cissss, ktorg duaorg je budak pompuan yg turun. malu la plk, tapi dah berdiri dpn pintu kafe, masuk je la. siap mamat2 tu ada yg baik hati bagi air n gelas..buat basah2 tekak. layan je la. dalam pada syok tu, England dpt lak satu peluang utk score..aku dah tak dgr dah suara org lain. elok je one player tu tendang bola aku pun bangun smbil jerit "GOOOOOOOLLLLL!". baru sedar yg org lain takde pun wat camtu. malunya aku tah mcmana aku bleh sembunyi bwh meja sbb sedar2 je aku dah kat bwh tu mgadap kaki kwn aku. pelan2 aku kuar smbil sengih kerang busuk. mamat2 tu gelak2 "rilek kak..sabar,sabar..". well, England lost that match but the next day i won quite a few guy friends. ada la benda yg nak diajak berbual agaknya..and some of them were really good friends of mine.

Memory 3
WC 2006. Hubby peminat Italy. aku dah frust sbb Japan n Spain terkeluar awal. umah takde astro so rely on Singapore's channel 5 je la. malam tu Final Italy vs Brazil. dlm pada kengkonon nak teman cik abg tgk aku bleh tertido. kaw2 punya tido smpi tak sedar pun org tu terlompat2, terjerit2. tau2 je dah pagi nak gi sklh. bangun2 je tanya "apasal tak kejut?" dia kata "huh, tido mcm batang balak, kena pijak pun tak sedar." heheheh...alkisah nak layan footbal.

WC 2010 - england vs usa

"bongok punya keeper..ada ke tangkap bola mcm tu?????? keeper bola baling aku pun tau tak leh tangkap bola mcm tu...ni lagi international level!!!!!!!" ye tuan-tuan dan puan-puan...itulah sebahagian dpd komen pengulas sukan tak bertauliah di sebuah rumah di parit raja. (cik abg, a Liverpool fan menyumpah seranah coz Green mensia-siakan peluang utk menang, thanks to Liverpool capt @ England capt Steven Gerard).



i sytayed up to watch the game..usually bola tgk aku, tp semalam bleh plak mata ni tahan. maybe skang tgh cuti sklh and my parents are off for a vacation in China (hoping they wont buy me those ugly blouses) so i have the tv n house all to myself. hah kau...tgh hari br bangun. tu pun bangun sbb MIL ajak gi jemputan umah sedara..kut tak, mau terlajak smpi after zohor.

i'm no football fanatic..but i do watch few games one in a while. and i cant follow EPL frequntly enough...tak tahan nak ikut 6-7 bulan punya league. i prefer the WC, the Champion's League, Euro etc..u know...yg tak amik masa panjang n dah tentu2 team dia suma best2. i love the sporting spirit, the tacticals and the fans. ooh, do you notice the players? i swear footballers have the best @$$ in the whole of athletes!!!!!!

back to the england - usa game...Capello needs to do something bout the defenders. the absence of Rio Ferdinand is hurting the team...and the keeper...i read somewhere he is one with many bola terlepas in EPL! macamana pilih keeper mcm tu???? not to mention he was the 3rd keeper inthe team. whoaaaaa....i know, stupid move kan? the US team gave quite a good challenge...ranked 14 (kalau tak silap) in FIFA list, they know that match was everyone was waiting for. so much for "this is england's best team in WC since 1966".

phewww...ni baru demam bola. still another 29. 28 days left before WC ends...like my father always say "bola itu bulat, mcm2 boleh berlaku"..yeah, as if pernah sgt la bola tu bersegi2.

(cadangkan?)

aku melihat dengan mata berkaca
mereka ditinggal umpama tiada harga
berbekas lebam dan luka seluruh badan
berbekas di hati tiada kesan


aku mendengar hampir tuli
tangisan dan jeritan bernada tinggi
biarpun sipi-sipi terngiang di telinga
gambar tersiar bisu, tiada suara


aku merasa pedih dan ngilu
beperti garam disapu ke luka baru
dalam hati tak berhenti menangis
pujuk dan rayu bagai tak tiris


apa hak mereka menzalimi zuriat
hilang gentar pada dosa dan akibat
dimana hakku dinafikan waris
apa dayaku rahsia Tuhan tiada bergaris

 

Doa Nabi Zakaria. a.s.

Robbi laa tazar dan wantakhoirul waaa rithiin
Tuhanku, janganlah engkau tinggalkan daku seorang diri padahal engkau Tuhan yang paling baik dari segala orang yang mewarisi

Surah Al-Anbiya:21:89

Robbi hablee miladunlakaa zurritontoiyiban innaka samii uddoa
Tuhanku, berilah kepadaku dari sisi-mu keturunan (anak) yang baik, sesungguhnya engkau Tuhan yang sangat mendengar doa

Surah Ai Imran 3:38

dewy readmore books

i cried buckets reading this. wat's it about? a cat, a librarian and a small town. i'm a cat person, so everything cat is a concern to me. hehehehe...

if you are not a cat fan or not really care bout a cat, then u might not relate to the story. the started with a librarian in a bleak small town of Spencer found a kitten in a book return bin one freezing morning. a whole new future for the cat revel onwards. from one misery librarian to another took care of Dewey Readmore Books until the whole town seemed to adopt him. you see, cat is a creature of personality...they dont care a thing bout how the world spins, what they know is the world spin around them. unlike dogs, they dont obey you..but you obey them, unwillingly. as if cats have magic spell they inherit since the Pharaoh-worshipping-days. thats what dewey did to a small town facing uncertain future during the horrible ecomic downturn then.

this book recalls all the antics of dewey.. his first experience outdoor, first trip to the vet, a taste of fame, a possession of a library. this book evokes the warm n fuzzy feeling you get when you remember your first pet. the heartbroken moment when your first pet died. it's everything you may experience in bringing up a pet (wat...'bringing up' only for children ke?). luckily the author who is the librarian has quite a sense of humour so once in a while you may smile amidst the tears rolling down your gebu cheeks.

nuff said...give it a try. you might understand how cat lovers feel...better yet, you might think there is a human after all inside a cat (reincarnation, anybody?).

dia suka merapu

suami saya suka benda merapu...so this entry is dedicated to all the merapu-ness in him.



he esp likes this one very much (too much!)



this one too..

FK or Q?

just got back from the movie watching Lagenda Budak Setan. saje je nak tgk cerita yg diadaptasi daripada novel yg pernah aku gila-gilakan dulu. dont quite remember the whole storyline of the book actually but i remembered feeling sorry for Ayu instead of Kashah.



so, what di i think of the movie? touching but didnt really thug the string of my heart. you see, Lisa Surihani is really such an eye candy. so does Farid Kamil. They do look good together and there is the sparks between them. but somehow, the director seemed too focused on the PDA - faces too close to each other, hugging, hair caressing, chasing around. picnic at the garden (honestly, u really cant have a decent picnic for two without getting stares from people around here). They overworked the chemistry...but then, Ahadiat akashah always overworked it in his books. so the sparks dont really developed into a big bang kinda fireworks.  FK played kashah well...kudos to his naughty smirks n playful gestures. but he's not good close-up. he should really start taking care of his skin more. Lisa is good too. she is natural, is much better expressing her feeling compared when she first started scting n again, a really good eye candy. (i know la...cik abg kat sblh asik la tersengih2 n memuji2 bila Lisa kuar).

BUT, all things between Kashah-Ayu fell apart the moment Que Haidar entered. as we walked put of the cinema, i can only remembered the scene where Ayu got beaten up. QUE OWNED THE MOMENT!!!!!!! not to mention Lisa actually showed a reaction that i never seen before. I never thought Lisa could be at the same level as Que. thank God for Que. Rasanya betul2 kena tibai Lisa dlm scene tu. oh Que, Linda Jasmin is soooooo stupid if she barred you from acting again!!

hmmmm......then the whole dynamic of Kashah - Ayu relationship disappeared when ayu became Amalia. the new girl isn't as good as everyone else (though in they had Ogy ahmad Daud as acting coach). since when a plastic surgery changed one's height and skin colour????/ not to mention facial bone structure (sorry, i'm a avid fan of CSI) . can't lisa just have a team of make-up artistes instead??? cerita hantu n cerita lawak2 bleh plak kuar bajet beli silikon bagai.

My favourite moment is when Kashah first greet his newborn baby. he said "awak anak perempuan saya....". oh, part tu mmg tak leh tahan, terusik jap hati I yg sensitif bab2 baby nih...hehehehe. Hats off to Fazura too. she really can act, saving the film towards the end of it. I must say that the plot is a bit hurried...tak halus bak kata cik abg ni. tergesa2. ye la...sejati mana pun cinta kau, takkan la sekejap sgt jangkamasa nak mencapai level 'cinta sedalam lautan Hindi' kan?

there, that's my two sen worth on this film. not a waste of money at all. not at all. did I mention there will be a sequel?

19 minutes

this is my favourite picoult's book so far. remember the columbia incident? well, the story is loosely based or rather inspired by the dreadful shooting in a high school there.

this book revolves around a boy who is bullied his whole schooling life (betul ke ayat aku nih?). It seems that he has been bottling up his feeling and emotion. the only way he vent put the anger and frustration is by video game which he developed himself. at the same time, he has a soft spot for a girl that eventually become gf of his enemy. and one day, he came to school armed with loads of guns and start shooting. like any picoult book, there will be court room dramas, unexpected twist and hopeful prediction for both the accused and the victims.

honestly, i read this with tissues in hand because i think anyone can relate to bullying (physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally) in one part of his/her life. when u grow up in a boarding school, u feel the pressure even more. while we pity on the bully victim, have we thought of how they feel? the most we can do is to stop at once any bullying activities we CAN see...but bullying happens every minute behind our back. in the shooting incident of columbia high school, we pity the ones died. picoult try to put herself in the shooter' family's shoes..which are quite a big ones to fill in. imagine the feeling of uncertainty, being the target of anger and confusion. as if you never know the boy you raised up the whole life..where do we go wrong? is there a genetic mishap along the way? is it nature or nurture?

as i read the book, i felt like i went back to my teenagers life. true, bullying in my hostel wasn't as hostile as it was way long ago. i remembered being estranged by my friends, being accused of so many things that i didnt do, constantly being compared to the other better friends, being misunderstood by one of my best friend eventhough my intention was for her own good, etc, etc. i made it my principle to not do onto others the things i dont like people do to me. RESPECT, HONOUR and ACCEPT other people as they are.

yup, hostel life was ages ago...but i still feel the same hatred and dislike when i see or remember a few people that make myself misarable. and for that, i thank them for making me stronger and a better person.

jb-lumut-jb

3 hari...destinasi jb-lumut-jb (lbh krg 400km)...boleh? hehehehe...member sekerja suma kata aku gile. tapi yela, dah namanya nak berjalan kan..suma halangan ku redah. misi utama ialah melepaskan rindu pada nephew paling ensemku Mohd Rayyan in Tg Malim.

hajat di hati nak membawa family (hubby n me. parents in law, BIL, 2 SIL n a nephew) to Pulau Pangkor...spend @ least a day there coz they've never been there. tapi..a few days before the trip, a cousin of theirs buat taik plak. bleh la plak melaser2 kat FB smpi hubby adik-beradik berbalas2 status lak kat FB tu. bukan sikit2 nyer gaduh plak tu...kelakar ada, sakit hati ada, confuse pun ada. jadi kami ke lumut membawa misi keamanan sbb si laser punya kakak pun ada kat navy base tu so singgah la sekali. tak nak la dia terasa plak kan yg kami sekuarga ni menyisihkan dia sekali. hasilnya, kami ke lumut utk bertemu sedara mara. orait la tu, dapat pahala insya-Allah.

my point is...FB tu bleh jadi medan bermusuh. kena la jaga hati dan perasaan kan. kawal diri sendiri. FB tu bukan blog (@ least that's what i understood), it's sort of like a notice board that anyone can see anything. if u wash ur dirty lundry in public and expecting no kutukan watsoever, forget it. somebody pasti akan berkata2 punya lah. privatekan la gambor2 awak tu, jgn di manipulasi org lain. org yang jd friends pun satu. if u dont have anything good to say, dont say anything. keep the the whole comments to urself la. klu agak2 comment tu menyakitkan hati, cepat2 mintak maaf. jgn tunjuk keras kepala. pastu, ada la plak pe'el bdk2 skang meng'spy' tah sapa2 punya wall n photos yg friends kpd friends kepada friends tu...then pakat2 plak kutuk n komen reramai. ko sapa nak kutuk2 org, dik ooiiiiii! kenal pun tak. tak de hak langsung nak buat cam tu. aku tak paham tul bdk2 skang.

kita kan nak mencari kawan, bukan lawan. bila lagi nak jumpa geng2 sekolah, geng2 uni, etc. melalui FB tu la antara cara yg mudah dan cepat. tapi bila aku pikir2 balik, semakin lama semakin dunia ni hilang privacy. maybe that's the price to pay for  such advance technology.

this mascara sucks!

sucks! yes, the Revlon double twist mascara sucks. i bought it because i was, well, curious about the whole 3D brush. and Jessica Alba looks soo cantik wearing it (padahal minah tu ada a while entiurage of make-up artistes for the shoots). I stumble upon a discounted one @ jusco..originally it is priced @ RM 40.00 (personally think it is very expensive for a thing that is going to washed off at the end of the day) and after discount, RM 24.90. since the price almost rivals Maybellines...i bought one la.

I have tried it on everyday for a week and i still cant find the most effective way to putting it on my lashes correctly. correctly as in not clumping or sorts. but it clumps!!!!! terribly that after putting it on i have to use an old eyeshadow brush to remove the clumps!!! such a shame because the color is great...it makes my lashes thicker without looking like i glued on false lashes. why, oh  why do Revlon even come out with such lousy products. hampeh tul la.

even when you take it out of the tube, you can see that the mascara is not evenly distributed to the bristles. maybe because the tube's opening itself is a bit small for such huge brush. nak kuarkan pun punyalah ketat. ( hmmm..why do i sound 'porn-ny?). it seems that the mascara formula is a bit too thick, almost paste-like consistency.

these are my lashes before putting on the mascara. ignore any unsightful feature of my face..hehehehe!

these are afterwards. see the clumps?

hmmm...what if i use maybelline's wand instead? will it look good? hmmm...i shall have to try.

i am tagged

hihihiii...aku yg jakun ditag cuba utk jawab soalan tag.

What will u do if u know that your friend has been back stabbing u ?

i let the person go...waiting for their worst moment and then give it back in their face.

6 people in your heart?i have lots of ppl in my heart...top 6 : syahmee aziyan, my family, my parents in law, wan azlin, nephews n nieces, johnny depp

Do u think u're cute?if being fat is cute, then i am. (mcm annie yasmin dlm citer p ramlee...heheheh. "bang brahim. tolong bang brahim!")

Single or taken?
taken

Blog(s) that u like?
my friends' blogs, gossip blogs (malunya nak ngaku)

Do u clean your room everyday?
try to..

The last song u listened to?
the hillarious tamil song i posted in FB

Last text message?from my bro

Last phone call?

from telekom about my sreamyx.

Last day u cried?cant remember.....oh, last friday ms tgk sandra won the survivor. kengkonon terharu la.

List down 5 of your favorite colours?

1. red
2. yellow
3. silver
4. white
5. black

The last people chat with u in YM?i dont have YM..hate chatting

Your favorite game?sudoku, Farmville

Are u a fan o MCR?apa tu? or sapa tu?

What do u feel when u answering this tag?rasa jakun

Do u think this tag interesting?ok la...pernah did much more daring questions.

sampai jugak.

(sambil menaip mcm trdgr2 awie gelakkan aku)

last week smpi juga akhirnya parcel yg ditunggu2. aku kah org yg penyabar itu?

agaknya bila bleh habis buku-buku ni? well...dah beli kena jugak baca. i just finish the first one - 'Abrahan Lincoln the vampire hunter'. interesting. very interesting. i think the author tries to give a more edgy and darker personality to Honest Abe. ada plak gambar2 yg diphotoshoped...to make it more valid la konon. the style of writing...mcm baca buku lama2. very bersopan santun walaupun dlm keadaan marah.

chaiyok!

aku?? cikgu???

masa kecik2 dulu, aku tak nak jadi cikgu. sebab keja cikgu ni banyak. i still remember my mom brought back tons of papers to be marked, then during weekend making scrapbook which i had fun colouring it. but i enjoyed going to the school...i loved all the attention the big sisters gave me. maklumlah, anak cikgu. konon2 cute la..hehehehe. the best moment was my mom was appointed as cikgu perpustakaan. i spent the whole morning till afternoon reading to all the books i could laid my hands on. guess the ulat buku gene is inherited la.

and now, i'm a cikgu. ala, cikgu cabuk aje. kwn lain keja hebat2...engineer, pensyarah, akauntan, businessman, mcm2 man la...tapi i dont have any regret. because i FELL IN LOVE with teaching..the passion, the drive..never felt that way. i love the fact that i dont have to stay on a same chair in a same room every second of the day. what i didnt expact was the energy consumed, the lethargy after a day's work, the endless whining from the younger children..... in fact the first 3 months i became a teacher, i actually left the class unattended because i dont know what else to do amidst the yelling, screaming and the bickering. hehehehe... lemah tul mental masa tu...and that how i learnt that students arent as ideal as i read in the psychology books.

ya, aku cikgu yg garang. i dont tolerate (how do you say it...) undiciplined students. i'll push my students to their fullest potential. at the same time i make friends with them..maklum la remaja. hati n perasaan kena jaga jugak, jiwa tgh kacau kan. tapi klu buat hal mmg kena la dgn aku. apa aku buat dgn diaorg? hehehehe...biarlah rahsia. penat jugak nak layan, tapi 'pelan2 kayuh' la. nak wat camno? tu belum kira duit yang keluar utk diaorg....fotostat, makan (ye, zaman skang pun ada jgk murid yg takde duit belanja ke sekolah), duit minyak keta ulang alik latihan n kelas tambahan...mana bleh claim dgn govt. rasanya aku layak utk claim some of the students jadi anak angkat dgn JKM la....

come teacher's day...mixed feeling. no, i dont want presents...my students are not from wealthy family. (tapi every year bwk balik 3 paper bag-ful of gifts...heheheh). i want them to behave, i want them to jadi org, i want them to know that in this cruel world, masih ada yg sayang. aku garang sbb aku nak diaorg jadi org. AKU MAHU MURID AKU TAHU APA YANG MEREKA MAHU...and go for it.

eh, emosi plak post yg ini. takpe la, i'm allowed to...kan teacher's day tak lama lagi. :)