loya...
period lambat..
selalu penat....sangat......
hehehehehe....jgn bimbang la..tak preggy pun...tu suma tanda2 PMS. Lagi pun baru je lapas bertungkus lumus sampai hampir lemas masa kerja kahwin adik ipar kan..of course la secara fisiologinya ada terganggu kitaran yang stabil setiap bulan tu.
*sigh*...ni la yg aku maksudkan dengan harapan palsu. kalau org lain seminggu lewat tu dah confirm la boleh buiat mjalis lenggang perut beli barang baby bagai....aku ni kalau lewat 9 bulan pun belum tentu ada hasil...hik hik...i am special, kan?
next year i will br 35. i am not in the correct, attractive side of thirties anymore. Do you know we women will experience fertility depletion from that age...wow and i thought i have already depleted mine..hahahahaha!
Masa untuk memikirkan semula masa depan aku...perlu ada short term plan. perlu ke ambil baby...perlu ke berpisah..perlu ke penjenamaan semula harta pusaka...ewah...why so serious??? Suami kata ada ustazah kat TV kata "Allah akan beri apa yang kita fikirkan". So maknanya kena think positive la kan....aku rasa ustazah tu pun tak pernah dilabel mandul kot..ada anak...ada pernah merasa hamil...so buat la kata2 motivasi macam tu.
Setiap masalah itu ada jalan penyelesaian dan ikhtiarnya. Aku tak mampu nak jatuh setiap kali ikhtiar tu tak berhasil. tak mampu. Aku boleh tolong selesaikan masalah orang tapi aku tak mampu nak selesaikan masalah sendiri..what a whack!
Apa pun aku bersyukur Allah bagi aku jalan untuk lupakan aku kepada masalah aku...dengan buat kek. kalau la buat anaka semudah buat kek. Hmmmmmmm....
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
confident?
Sang pengantin jantan, sang kekanda dan aku bincang tentang harga kek utk majlis perkahwinan kat Air hitam sini nanti. Purata untuk kek 9-10 inch guna icing buttercream (maybe krimwell berperisa butter) harganya RM200-250. Sebab aku dulu pun kek kahwin ada org sponsor so untuk aku harga tu agak mahal..sebab aku tau bakers komersial guna mostly srtificial flavouring je..tapi aku pun tau harga barang2 kek suma dah naik.
So, sang Arjuna hati ni suggest aku buatklan kek untuk adinda kami ni. nanti pengantin tanggung harga kos dan upah sikit la. hmmm...hilang akal sekejap kah suami ku ini..aku ni disuruh buat kek kahwin? hadoi la..mati akal..
diam-diam tangan aku gatal gak buat sketch kak tu..simple, do-able, preparable...mcm ni
pengantin agree dgn kaler biru tu...gulp..cantikl ke nanti...adoi la....ni la namanya takde keja cari keja...adoi la...
BTW, kek kahwin aku sempoi mcm ni je. kalau nak tau, lagi 2 hari nak majlis baru aku teringat yang aku takde kek. so aku tepon cikgu aku nangis2 mintak tolong dia buat kek choc moist setingkat je..jadi la jgn tak ada. sekali datang...hik hik hik..aku suka..yang penting kek tu habis dimakan...
So, sang Arjuna hati ni suggest aku buatklan kek untuk adinda kami ni. nanti pengantin tanggung harga kos dan upah sikit la. hmmm...hilang akal sekejap kah suami ku ini..aku ni disuruh buat kek kahwin? hadoi la..mati akal..
diam-diam tangan aku gatal gak buat sketch kak tu..simple, do-able, preparable...mcm ni
pengantin agree dgn kaler biru tu...gulp..cantikl ke nanti...adoi la....ni la namanya takde keja cari keja...adoi la...
BTW, kek kahwin aku sempoi mcm ni je. kalau nak tau, lagi 2 hari nak majlis baru aku teringat yang aku takde kek. so aku tepon cikgu aku nangis2 mintak tolong dia buat kek choc moist setingkat je..jadi la jgn tak ada. sekali datang...hik hik hik..aku suka..yang penting kek tu habis dimakan...
Saturday, November 24, 2012
ohhhh....
Terima kasih buat sepupu suamiku..kerana sama2 membantu kami yang tergolong dalam kategori pasangan malang. Awal mlm tadi dpt berhubung dengan seorang pengamal ubatan herba untuk mereka yang cuba dapatkan zuriat. rupanya Pak Husin ni pun dulu mengamalkan ubat ni..diapun 12 tahun baru dapat anak. Dengan izin Allah dan ubat tu serasi dengan dia suami iateri maka sekarang mereka dah ada 2 orang anak.
Tapi dalam telepon tu mcm2 yang ditanya kat aku. period ok ke tak, ada senggugut ke tak, period datang tepat ke tak, rupa apa, warna apa, bau apa..ish...doktor pun tak tanya macam tu. so sebab aku pun tak dapat bertentang mata dengan orang ni maka aku jawab la sesimple mungkin reluctantly.
Aku memang agak prejudis dengan org2 yang cuba bertanya aku pasal usaha nak beranak pinak ni. Kenapa bila tau aje pasangan tu takde anak terus aje, straight aje tanya kat isteri samada period dia ok ke tak..sama ada penah gugur ke tak...hello..ingat pompuan aje ke boleh tak subur??????????? typical Malay!!!!Nasib baik aku Jawa cmpur Cina skit...ekekekekekeke.....hadoi la, seksa betul jadi pompuan kat Malaysia ni.
back to the conversation...so, agak2 aku dah mula tak paham apa Pak Husin tu cakap (sebab dia ckp Ganu) last2 dia mintak balik nak cakap dgn laki aku. Apa tah dia borak dua orag..tapi aku rasa bunyinya lebih berhemah la berbanding aku tadi.
Maybe aku ni terlebih sensitif..ye la org nak menolong bukan nak nosy kan. Mintak maaf la sedara sedari tuan puan..bukan saya tak mau ditolong. tapi saya malu sebab benda ni menunjukkan kelemahan saya, kekurangan saya. Saya bukan sakit yang macam orang lain yang mendatangkan simpati..'sakit' saya ni mendatangkan ejekan dan sindiran dan gurauan yang bukan sedikit kesan di hati. 'sakit' saya menentukan putus atau tidak warisan keluarga, boleh mendatangkan risiko saya di madu atau diceraikan (Na'uzubillah). Sebab tu saya agak tak gemar nak berbicara dengan orang yang kurang dikenali tentang hal ini.
oh ya, tadi saya update kira2 kwn dan sedara mara yang beranak tahun depan..list saya dah meningkat kepada 10 orang. Syabas Inspektor Sahab...
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Pelakon lelaki Malaysia yang cukup lelaki
These are some of my favourite actors. yg cukup asam garamnya bila keluar kat screen wayang atau tv. Walaupun sesetengahnya tu tak de la muka jantan sangat (no stubbles or muscles) tapi bila berkata-kata atau tersenyum tu..wah..runtun kalbu betul...
*all pics are courtesy of uncle Google
Kalau diarang berlakon watak bangang2 pun aku tak kisah..sebab tak nmpk bangang pun.
Lagi-lagi yang emang manang tu...serius minat dia dari aku budak2 lagi..ekekekeke....rupa tiada, karisma ada...
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| Q Haidar |
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| Beto |
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| Eman Manan dan Zahiril Adzim |
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| Adi Putra |
Kalau diarang berlakon watak bangang2 pun aku tak kisah..sebab tak nmpk bangang pun.
Lagi-lagi yang emang manang tu...serius minat dia dari aku budak2 lagi..ekekekeke....rupa tiada, karisma ada...
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Kuatlah wahai hati!
Dalam pada Ummah seluruh dunia bersatu menentang Zionis dan Israel, aku merasakan post ini agak selfish dan kurang penting berbanding kepentingan penduduk Palestin. Maafkan aku ya Allah..aku bukan melepaskan diri daripada tanggungjawab ku terhadap saudara seagamaku..sekadar beberapa minit untuk melegakan hati.
Yup, went to Terengganu. drove for almost 500km. by myself. tera tak? mcm nak patah pinggang aku. Konvoi 8 kereta dari BP..aku sorg je pompuan yg drive. ala..org pompuan drive..mestila terkedek2 jek. tapi nak membesit kat Jalan Segamat-Kuantan tu apa la maknanya...lori tangki, lori kelapa sawit dan lori kontena berderet. dapat cilok2 potong diaorg pun dah hebat dah aku rasa...hahahaha.
Sesampai je KT pukul 5 pm, terus solat n kuarkan barang. Kuar balik ke bandar KT untuk cari last minute preparation utk adik ipar aku nak jadi pengantin. ada lagi rupanya hantaran yg tak settle. Kakak pengantin org yang last sekali siap. Tak sia2 duduk asrama selama ni..aku bersiap dari mandi ke pakai baju ke bersolek dalam masa 15 minit tepat. (Terima kasih fasa hidup asramaku!)
Waktu nikah tu..aku ada rasa satu perasaan keterharuan sedikit. Walaupun aku ni org luar, aku dah kenal adik ipar aku ni 8 tahun lebih dah. Aku tgk dia daripada zaman dia sekolah menengah smpi keluar U. Dah jadi laki org dah...dan ada jugak tedetik di hati aku..aku kena bersedia untuk mendapat taraf 'menantu kain buruk'. maklum la...isterinya tu daripada keluarga baka baik2...adik-beradik ada 8 org..ada kembar plak tu. Cantik pulak tu. tak setanding la aku ni...tapi aku tetap mendoakan dia dan isteri dikurniakan perkahwinan yang abadi dan cepat dapat anak2. takde la Hj Ishak nanti takde waris katanya...hehehehehe...nak tunggu aku? mau kerepot segala tiub fallopian dan ovum aku belum tentu beranak...hahahahaha!
Selamat Pengantin baru, bro!
Yup, went to Terengganu. drove for almost 500km. by myself. tera tak? mcm nak patah pinggang aku. Konvoi 8 kereta dari BP..aku sorg je pompuan yg drive. ala..org pompuan drive..mestila terkedek2 jek. tapi nak membesit kat Jalan Segamat-Kuantan tu apa la maknanya...lori tangki, lori kelapa sawit dan lori kontena berderet. dapat cilok2 potong diaorg pun dah hebat dah aku rasa...hahahaha.
Sesampai je KT pukul 5 pm, terus solat n kuarkan barang. Kuar balik ke bandar KT untuk cari last minute preparation utk adik ipar aku nak jadi pengantin. ada lagi rupanya hantaran yg tak settle. Kakak pengantin org yang last sekali siap. Tak sia2 duduk asrama selama ni..aku bersiap dari mandi ke pakai baju ke bersolek dalam masa 15 minit tepat. (Terima kasih fasa hidup asramaku!)
Waktu nikah tu..aku ada rasa satu perasaan keterharuan sedikit. Walaupun aku ni org luar, aku dah kenal adik ipar aku ni 8 tahun lebih dah. Aku tgk dia daripada zaman dia sekolah menengah smpi keluar U. Dah jadi laki org dah...dan ada jugak tedetik di hati aku..aku kena bersedia untuk mendapat taraf 'menantu kain buruk'. maklum la...isterinya tu daripada keluarga baka baik2...adik-beradik ada 8 org..ada kembar plak tu. Cantik pulak tu. tak setanding la aku ni...tapi aku tetap mendoakan dia dan isteri dikurniakan perkahwinan yang abadi dan cepat dapat anak2. takde la Hj Ishak nanti takde waris katanya...hehehehehe...nak tunggu aku? mau kerepot segala tiub fallopian dan ovum aku belum tentu beranak...hahahahaha!
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| (pic ni aku curik dpd FB kwn pengantin sbb gmbr diaorg takde pd aku) |
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
sending money (duit hantaran?)
aku baru balik daripada hantar pengantin ke Perak weekend lepas. sepupu hubby. cantik pengantin pompuan tu..
biasa la, org pompuan kan... balik daripada majlis je mcm2 la komentar dan pandangan yang jadi topik. topik wajib : HANTARAN.
A: Berapa hantaran budak tu?
B: RM 8888.88
C: wah..nombor ala ong..ekekekekeke...
B: budak tu lawa.
D: pergh..sekolah setakat tingkatan 2 pun hantaran smpi 8k??? aku yg grad ni pun 6k je...
C: rezeki orang..
Berapa hantaran kau? hahahaha..jgn takut la...aku tak penah tanya benda ni kat kwn2 aku. hatta yang rapat sekalipun. sebab perkara ni sensitif. manusia kan, tinggi dikata jual anak, rendah dikata tak ikut kos kahwin semasa. (adakah perkahwinan itu satu perniagaan?)
tak kisah la berapa pun mak korang letak sebab korang anak diaorg..so sukahati parents korg la nak letak harga berapa. yang penting pada aku pihak lelaki tak merungut (di depan atau di belakang). sebab bila merungut dah jadi tak ikhlas nak kahwin dan..nanti jadi isu berbangkit plak di masa hadapan.
orang pompuan jangan la letak mahal2 kalau bakal pengantin lelaki kerja biasa2 atau baru nak mula kerja. kesian dia...jangan la masuk sekali kos mak andam dalam hantaran tu. pastu tak payah la nak buat paling hebat atau terkini atau tersendiri sangat..awak bukan artis pun. perlu sangat ke bertukar2 baju tu? inai berkeluk2 tu? dulang pinjam dari istana tu? perlu sangat ke? (ops, lupa plak..kahwin seumur hidup sekali..Insya Allah!)
orang lelaki pulak, tak reti2 nak kumpul duit? kurangkan rokok tu..kang makin tensen cari duit makin byk la hisap rokok sebab nak hilangkan tensen tu. mekap kereta ala kadar je, bang. nanti lepas kahwin baru tukar sport rim baru, ok. nak pakai tayar besar tayar traktor pun boleh.
ha,,kan aku dah membebel. tapi kat sini je la. siapa la aku nak mengajar org kan..sendiri pun carca marba.
apa? berapa hantaran aku? Murah jek, kak. ada la 3 bulan gaji cikgu KPLI baru ngajar. ekekekeke..hamba org marhaen, malu nak letak mahal2. Walaupun bapak saya pensyarah...ewah!
tapi ada baiknya jugak hantaran aku tak tinggi. kau imagine la kalau mak aku letak 10k. sekali after 8 years kawin, anak nan hadooo (maknanya takde la tu)...tak berbakul ke org kg mak mertua aku nak mengata aku...harap aje hantaran tinggi, hasil tarak! akak tak sanggup dik oi nak mendengar umpat keji org. Hahahaha..nampak tak hikmahnya?
tapi kalau kau rasa esok2 anak kau tu dapat first class degree ke, Anugerah Dekan ke...berbaloi nak letak 10k or 20k tu terpulang la. anak kau kan. Jangan esok ada yang berbunyi.."boleh buat masak ke Anugerah Dekan tu?"
p/s: perenggan di atas juga adalah petikan daripada forum tak perdana yang benar.
biasa la, org pompuan kan... balik daripada majlis je mcm2 la komentar dan pandangan yang jadi topik. topik wajib : HANTARAN.
A: Berapa hantaran budak tu?
B: RM 8888.88
C: wah..nombor ala ong..ekekekekeke...
B: budak tu lawa.
D: pergh..sekolah setakat tingkatan 2 pun hantaran smpi 8k??? aku yg grad ni pun 6k je...
C: rezeki orang..
Berapa hantaran kau? hahahaha..jgn takut la...aku tak penah tanya benda ni kat kwn2 aku. hatta yang rapat sekalipun. sebab perkara ni sensitif. manusia kan, tinggi dikata jual anak, rendah dikata tak ikut kos kahwin semasa. (adakah perkahwinan itu satu perniagaan?)
tak kisah la berapa pun mak korang letak sebab korang anak diaorg..so sukahati parents korg la nak letak harga berapa. yang penting pada aku pihak lelaki tak merungut (di depan atau di belakang). sebab bila merungut dah jadi tak ikhlas nak kahwin dan..nanti jadi isu berbangkit plak di masa hadapan.
orang pompuan jangan la letak mahal2 kalau bakal pengantin lelaki kerja biasa2 atau baru nak mula kerja. kesian dia...jangan la masuk sekali kos mak andam dalam hantaran tu. pastu tak payah la nak buat paling hebat atau terkini atau tersendiri sangat..awak bukan artis pun. perlu sangat ke bertukar2 baju tu? inai berkeluk2 tu? dulang pinjam dari istana tu? perlu sangat ke? (ops, lupa plak..kahwin seumur hidup sekali..Insya Allah!)
orang lelaki pulak, tak reti2 nak kumpul duit? kurangkan rokok tu..kang makin tensen cari duit makin byk la hisap rokok sebab nak hilangkan tensen tu. mekap kereta ala kadar je, bang. nanti lepas kahwin baru tukar sport rim baru, ok. nak pakai tayar besar tayar traktor pun boleh.
ha,,kan aku dah membebel. tapi kat sini je la. siapa la aku nak mengajar org kan..sendiri pun carca marba.
apa? berapa hantaran aku? Murah jek, kak. ada la 3 bulan gaji cikgu KPLI baru ngajar. ekekekeke..hamba org marhaen, malu nak letak mahal2. Walaupun bapak saya pensyarah...ewah!
tapi ada baiknya jugak hantaran aku tak tinggi. kau imagine la kalau mak aku letak 10k. sekali after 8 years kawin, anak nan hadooo (maknanya takde la tu)...tak berbakul ke org kg mak mertua aku nak mengata aku...harap aje hantaran tinggi, hasil tarak! akak tak sanggup dik oi nak mendengar umpat keji org. Hahahaha..nampak tak hikmahnya?
tapi kalau kau rasa esok2 anak kau tu dapat first class degree ke, Anugerah Dekan ke...berbaloi nak letak 10k or 20k tu terpulang la. anak kau kan. Jangan esok ada yang berbunyi.."boleh buat masak ke Anugerah Dekan tu?"
p/s: perenggan di atas juga adalah petikan daripada forum tak perdana yang benar.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
campus life
Last week my significant other and I were in Bangi. On our way back from Kajang we passed UKM. At the spur of the moment we decided to enter our old Uni...Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. Wow..while the buildings stay true to its 'vintage' and weathered look, many new things sprouted. We didn't stop to take pics, just capturing some from inside the car.
Whoa.....i thought i never wanted to step into the keramat land again...but was I blown away by tides after tides of emotions. tears welled, speech choked and heavy chested...i was drawn into the old memories. how time flies...and i couldn't believe how far my faculty building from the front gate is because i used to walked from fac to the gate in 10 minutes flat. sekarang kalau di bayar pun aku tak nak..500m ada kut jauhnya! padan la dulu kuruih...ekekekekeke..
then the next day we went to Tronoh for my lil bro's convo. Here's the chap...looking good and happy.
He used to nearly expelled from UTP. After my parents intervention and with Allah's blessing he was only suspended for 3 semester. He learned his lesson the hard way. Pity my bro...for a while he was at lost. Someone even had the nerve to spread the news around and call him 'without future'. Now he has a job as an engineer (or engin-nyior as my dad call him), turns over new leaf and looking for a bright future ahead. As for the person who bad mouthed him..well, she is still job-hopping..hahahahaha!
Itu la...Hidup kat U ni bukan sekadar mengejar sekeping ijazah dengan CGPA melambung. Kalau kau excellent itu rezeki kau. Untuk mereka yang dah hampir tersungkur dan tersingkir, untuk grad saja dah cukup melegakan hati. Tapi pengalaman pahit tu cukup mengajar erti hidup. mengajar untuk kenal siapa lawan dan kawan, siapa kaca siapa permata. Air mata dan penat lelah tu tak terbayar dengan duit. Dan orang seperti adik aku tu akan menjadi lebih cemerlang dalam hidup daripada kengkawan dia yang kelas 1 sebab orang macam ni dah rasa sepak terajang untuk survive.
*sigh* I miss my Uni days. Kat situlah aku beljar menjadi dewasa. Kat situlah juga aku kenal dia... :)
then the next day we went to Tronoh for my lil bro's convo. Here's the chap...looking good and happy.
He used to nearly expelled from UTP. After my parents intervention and with Allah's blessing he was only suspended for 3 semester. He learned his lesson the hard way. Pity my bro...for a while he was at lost. Someone even had the nerve to spread the news around and call him 'without future'. Now he has a job as an engineer (or engin-nyior as my dad call him), turns over new leaf and looking for a bright future ahead. As for the person who bad mouthed him..well, she is still job-hopping..hahahahaha!
Itu la...Hidup kat U ni bukan sekadar mengejar sekeping ijazah dengan CGPA melambung. Kalau kau excellent itu rezeki kau. Untuk mereka yang dah hampir tersungkur dan tersingkir, untuk grad saja dah cukup melegakan hati. Tapi pengalaman pahit tu cukup mengajar erti hidup. mengajar untuk kenal siapa lawan dan kawan, siapa kaca siapa permata. Air mata dan penat lelah tu tak terbayar dengan duit. Dan orang seperti adik aku tu akan menjadi lebih cemerlang dalam hidup daripada kengkawan dia yang kelas 1 sebab orang macam ni dah rasa sepak terajang untuk survive.
*sigh* I miss my Uni days. Kat situlah aku beljar menjadi dewasa. Kat situlah juga aku kenal dia... :)
Friday, October 12, 2012
cikgu garang!
Sapa penah kena ketil dgn cikgu dia, sila ngkat tangan!!!!
Aku pun pernah. honestly my Abah garang orangnya. Tambah2 lagi aku ni not exactly an angel while growing up back then so selalu la kena sedas dua dengan rotan. Oh, belt pun pernah..hehehehe. Kena ketil dgn cikgu? There was once in f4 the whole class got pinched by the teacher because our homework was done not up to her standards. That day i was feeling a little bit under the weather so i was wearing a jacket. She thought i was trying to cheat my way out of the punishment so i got more than my friends. As a result i had a 'five-petalled flower' patch of black and blue bruises under my breast area. True story.
Some of my other friends were not so fortunate they had to duck-walk up and down our school building. talk about abuse...huh. well, tu cerita lama. tak perlu diingat..ekekekeke..
My point is...being a teacher is soooooooooooooo stressful. You the term 'lilin membakar diri', 'tak kenal penat lelah'..those are true but actually over rated. I really hate it when my teacher friends keep posting about the 'good deeds' on FB (especially around May because of Teacher's Day). Not that i hate my job but truly people , parents and fellow govt servants don't give a damn about us. To them we are their free babysitters, money grabbing and pengelat sbb kerja separuh hari. So why rub the whole damn thing onto their faces even more, right? What matters to me is i do my job, and if i don't get any credits for that so be it. It's not the end of the world.
which goes to the exact point of this entry.
Last two days my children (kelas yg aku pegang la) were punished by their ustaz bahasa Arab using rotan. no big deal. the bigger deal was, they were spanked for about 20 - 36 rotan spanks per person. KAU GILA KE?????????? One of the boys' parents came complaining to us that their child cant sit or lie on his back because of the blue black bruises. like this bruises:
on both butt cheeks! this is the nearest resemblance to that poor boy's butt injury. so the parents had no choice than to make a medical and police reports.
*sigh* Aku pun garang jugak. Ramai lagi cikgu garang kat dunia ni. Guna jugak rotan tu sekali sekala...terpaksa. Tapi jgn la smpi biru anak og tu dikerjakan. Bila dah jadi mcm ni, rakan2 sekerja lain tak dapat dah nak tolong. Kalau sorg maybe la budak tu tipu tapi ni satu kelas. Macamana tu?
Aku rasa daripada kursuskan cikgu2 ni dengan benda yg bukan2 baik la hantar pegi kursus 'anger management'. Serius...stress beb. Kalau korang as parents pun takl sanggup melayan sorg anak terejal kat rumah 24hrs, imagine ada 5,6 org mcm tu dalam satu kelas. Tak gila kau? Belum lagi terberak, terkencing, termuntah dalam kelas. Belum lagi demam. Belum lagi bergaduh. Belum lagi kes tak buat homework. Mana la tak naik angin.
so, apa aku buat kalau aku naik angin??Aafter 4 tahun mengajar, i learn that i am scary when i got angry. I might as well turn green ripping all my clothes a la The Incredible Hulk. So the first thing i do is...i sit. Far from the children. Where my quick hands can't reach any of their body parts. And then i open my mouth and start my lecture like for ever. That is better than abusing the kids. I think. on some very bad day, i just leave the class for a few minutes.
Speaking of terejal...you may think how terejal my class kids are. Well, one of them was locked up at the police station for shoplifting..he is 9 by the way.Tthe other one was supposedly in Special Edu class but his parents are so in denial we have to bear with the kid's unruly behaviour. Oh, he is the one that can talk about sex as candidly as talking about cats. Who else..erm, this one girl is the ultimate kaki ponteng...by end of last month she has only attend 100 days of school instead of 174. yg lain2 tu...biasa je..gaduh2, jerit2, nangis2, curi2, gunting2 baju...'tu aje'...hehehehehe.
I love my kids.
Aku pun pernah. honestly my Abah garang orangnya. Tambah2 lagi aku ni not exactly an angel while growing up back then so selalu la kena sedas dua dengan rotan. Oh, belt pun pernah..hehehehe. Kena ketil dgn cikgu? There was once in f4 the whole class got pinched by the teacher because our homework was done not up to her standards. That day i was feeling a little bit under the weather so i was wearing a jacket. She thought i was trying to cheat my way out of the punishment so i got more than my friends. As a result i had a 'five-petalled flower' patch of black and blue bruises under my breast area. True story.
Some of my other friends were not so fortunate they had to duck-walk up and down our school building. talk about abuse...huh. well, tu cerita lama. tak perlu diingat..ekekekeke..
My point is...being a teacher is soooooooooooooo stressful. You the term 'lilin membakar diri', 'tak kenal penat lelah'..those are true but actually over rated. I really hate it when my teacher friends keep posting about the 'good deeds' on FB (especially around May because of Teacher's Day). Not that i hate my job but truly people , parents and fellow govt servants don't give a damn about us. To them we are their free babysitters, money grabbing and pengelat sbb kerja separuh hari. So why rub the whole damn thing onto their faces even more, right? What matters to me is i do my job, and if i don't get any credits for that so be it. It's not the end of the world.
which goes to the exact point of this entry.
Last two days my children (kelas yg aku pegang la) were punished by their ustaz bahasa Arab using rotan. no big deal. the bigger deal was, they were spanked for about 20 - 36 rotan spanks per person. KAU GILA KE?????????? One of the boys' parents came complaining to us that their child cant sit or lie on his back because of the blue black bruises. like this bruises:
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| (ini bukan gmbar sebenar...credit to http://www.wellsphere.com) |
*sigh* Aku pun garang jugak. Ramai lagi cikgu garang kat dunia ni. Guna jugak rotan tu sekali sekala...terpaksa. Tapi jgn la smpi biru anak og tu dikerjakan. Bila dah jadi mcm ni, rakan2 sekerja lain tak dapat dah nak tolong. Kalau sorg maybe la budak tu tipu tapi ni satu kelas. Macamana tu?
Aku rasa daripada kursuskan cikgu2 ni dengan benda yg bukan2 baik la hantar pegi kursus 'anger management'. Serius...stress beb. Kalau korang as parents pun takl sanggup melayan sorg anak terejal kat rumah 24hrs, imagine ada 5,6 org mcm tu dalam satu kelas. Tak gila kau? Belum lagi terberak, terkencing, termuntah dalam kelas. Belum lagi demam. Belum lagi bergaduh. Belum lagi kes tak buat homework. Mana la tak naik angin.
so, apa aku buat kalau aku naik angin??Aafter 4 tahun mengajar, i learn that i am scary when i got angry. I might as well turn green ripping all my clothes a la The Incredible Hulk. So the first thing i do is...i sit. Far from the children. Where my quick hands can't reach any of their body parts. And then i open my mouth and start my lecture like for ever. That is better than abusing the kids. I think. on some very bad day, i just leave the class for a few minutes.
Speaking of terejal...you may think how terejal my class kids are. Well, one of them was locked up at the police station for shoplifting..he is 9 by the way.Tthe other one was supposedly in Special Edu class but his parents are so in denial we have to bear with the kid's unruly behaviour. Oh, he is the one that can talk about sex as candidly as talking about cats. Who else..erm, this one girl is the ultimate kaki ponteng...by end of last month she has only attend 100 days of school instead of 174. yg lain2 tu...biasa je..gaduh2, jerit2, nangis2, curi2, gunting2 baju...'tu aje'...hehehehehe.
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| baru lepas nagis2 sebab cikgu maths bersara. |
I love my kids.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
malas tak hengat!
Assalamualaikum...
aduhai...lama betul tak post. malas rasanya. lagi pun not so much things to tell. same old, same old. raya mcm tu jugak. maybe kurang seronok sbb beraya dalam keadaan hati masih marah2 dgn somebody. too bad aku ni jenis forgive but not forget so rasa ada unfinished business. ok la..let it be. kita tgk perkembangan selanjutnya.
Dan aku suka sangat mengajar Year 1. tu la geng bergaduh, geng nyanyi2, geng borak2, geng main2 kat sekolah. this week full activities utk Hari Sukan so tak dpt nak jumpa diaorg. boring betul sbb mcm makan tak cukup garam bila tak jumpa year 1 tu...esp bdk geng gaduh aku ni..
what else...oh, i did quite a few cakes...hehehehe...walaupun tgh diet tapi nak jugak buat kek... baking is my lifelong obsession. dari aku kecik akan belek dan tenung lama2 apa2 juga resepi yg melibatkan kek dan pastri. makan kek pun adalah satu passion yg no diet can ever make it stop. ramai jugak yg bagi kata2 semangat. terima kasih la sangat2! ni yg buat aku lg rajin nak buat kek ni..ekekekeke...
still need more practice. bukan la nak berjualan sgt pun, lebih kepada nak memuaskan hati sbb sgt bengang dgn kualiti kedai kek kat kampung aku ni..ekekekeke...mana tau nanti dapat buka bakery kan?
aduhai...lama betul tak post. malas rasanya. lagi pun not so much things to tell. same old, same old. raya mcm tu jugak. maybe kurang seronok sbb beraya dalam keadaan hati masih marah2 dgn somebody. too bad aku ni jenis forgive but not forget so rasa ada unfinished business. ok la..let it be. kita tgk perkembangan selanjutnya.
Dan aku suka sangat mengajar Year 1. tu la geng bergaduh, geng nyanyi2, geng borak2, geng main2 kat sekolah. this week full activities utk Hari Sukan so tak dpt nak jumpa diaorg. boring betul sbb mcm makan tak cukup garam bila tak jumpa year 1 tu...esp bdk geng gaduh aku ni..
what else...oh, i did quite a few cakes...hehehehe...walaupun tgh diet tapi nak jugak buat kek... baking is my lifelong obsession. dari aku kecik akan belek dan tenung lama2 apa2 juga resepi yg melibatkan kek dan pastri. makan kek pun adalah satu passion yg no diet can ever make it stop. ramai jugak yg bagi kata2 semangat. terima kasih la sangat2! ni yg buat aku lg rajin nak buat kek ni..ekekekeke...
still need more practice. bukan la nak berjualan sgt pun, lebih kepada nak memuaskan hati sbb sgt bengang dgn kualiti kedai kek kat kampung aku ni..ekekekeke...mana tau nanti dapat buka bakery kan?
Saturday, September 1, 2012
syyyy...rahsia...
Setelah 8 tahun bersama suami, memang bukan rahsia yg kami belum ada zuriat lagi..mcm2 jawapan aku dah bagi kpd org bertanya. Ada tu bunyinya marah, ada nada sedih, ada laser balik. Tapi setelah 8 tahun akhirnya aku temui jawapan yg paling tepat utk org berhenti dpd mengorek kepedihan kami. Lepas ni, kalau ada og tanya hanya ini yang akan aku jawab.
"Jodoh, ajal, anak, rezeki..semuanya rahsia Allah. Dia aje yang tahu bila, bagaimana dan berapa byk Dia nak bagi. Macamana sy nak jawab soalan rahsia yg saya pun tak tahu. Soal siapa yg mandul ke, masalah ke, sakit ke...itu pun rahsia Allah yg hanya kami suami isteri dan doktor yg tahu. Kalau dah namanya rahsia takkan kami nak cerita dgn org pulak kan?"
"Jodoh, ajal, anak, rezeki..semuanya rahsia Allah. Dia aje yang tahu bila, bagaimana dan berapa byk Dia nak bagi. Macamana sy nak jawab soalan rahsia yg saya pun tak tahu. Soal siapa yg mandul ke, masalah ke, sakit ke...itu pun rahsia Allah yg hanya kami suami isteri dan doktor yg tahu. Kalau dah namanya rahsia takkan kami nak cerita dgn org pulak kan?"
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
fuh! fuh! berhabuk betul blog ni eh..sgt lama tak update..eh, ada ke org kisah kan..hahaha...
Well, same old, same old...Raya tiap2 tahun sama je kan..tp kali ni special sbb raya dgn umah sdr!! Yay!
Sempoi je..sbb tak pandai nak hias2 rumah sgt..aku ni mcm org bujang..tak de la nak hias2 dgn bunga ke pasu ke..tp bila tgk umah kosong sgt, nmpk gayanya kena gak la cari bunga ke frame ke..
and i made these two cakes..
hahahah...syok sdr tp puas hati!
Well, same old, same old...Raya tiap2 tahun sama je kan..tp kali ni special sbb raya dgn umah sdr!! Yay!
Sempoi je..sbb tak pandai nak hias2 rumah sgt..aku ni mcm org bujang..tak de la nak hias2 dgn bunga ke pasu ke..tp bila tgk umah kosong sgt, nmpk gayanya kena gak la cari bunga ke frame ke..
and i made these two cakes..
Friday, August 10, 2012
merenung masa depan
Memang betul la kalau org kata Ramadan n Syawal bulan yg evoke macam2 perasaan.
Lokasi : Bilik Guru
Situasi: Everyone mengambil tempahan kuih dan kerepek masing-masing. Ada juga hadiah dpd pentadbir sekolah.
Situasi aku: trying to finish surah Al-Kahfi quietly.
Suara2 latarbelakang:"Banyaknya korg ni order kuih. kerepek lagi plak tu!"
"Jgn lupa ni jap lg kuih batang buruk nak smpi jap lagi"
"Sapa la yg nak makan byk2 ni?"
"Aku bukan pa, aku suka tgk anak2 makan..beli pun bukan untuk org lain..anak jugak"
"betul tu..anak2 akak sekali hadap je depan tv ni kerepek2 ni..seronok tgk dia mkn"
tetiba terlintas kat hati aku..lagi 20 tahun aku beraya dgn sapa ek? sekarang ni aku tak beli kuih sgt pun sbb kami berdua jek. paling2 pun seminggu raya tu ada la sedara mara dtg. pastu? entah2 lagi 20 tahun pun aku still beli kuih ala kadar..nanti dah tua2 org lain dok senyum2 nak raya tunggu anak menantu balik kg..aku duk la depan tv...
tak semena2 berlinang lak ayer mata ku ini..echeh..tu dia....feeling dah mari....ni yg aku lemah ni.
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Mengasihani,
Tuhan yang Maha Mengerti,
Jauhkanlah hati kami daripada kesunyian begini,
Teguhkanlah iman kami,
Berilah kami kekuatan menghadapi ujian-Mu,
Limpahilah kami dengan kasih sayang,
Hindarilah kami daripada perasaan berjauh hati dari Rahmat-Mu.
Lokasi : Bilik Guru
Situasi: Everyone mengambil tempahan kuih dan kerepek masing-masing. Ada juga hadiah dpd pentadbir sekolah.
Situasi aku: trying to finish surah Al-Kahfi quietly.
Suara2 latarbelakang:"Banyaknya korg ni order kuih. kerepek lagi plak tu!"
"Jgn lupa ni jap lg kuih batang buruk nak smpi jap lagi"
"Sapa la yg nak makan byk2 ni?"
"Aku bukan pa, aku suka tgk anak2 makan..beli pun bukan untuk org lain..anak jugak"
"betul tu..anak2 akak sekali hadap je depan tv ni kerepek2 ni..seronok tgk dia mkn"
tetiba terlintas kat hati aku..lagi 20 tahun aku beraya dgn sapa ek? sekarang ni aku tak beli kuih sgt pun sbb kami berdua jek. paling2 pun seminggu raya tu ada la sedara mara dtg. pastu? entah2 lagi 20 tahun pun aku still beli kuih ala kadar..nanti dah tua2 org lain dok senyum2 nak raya tunggu anak menantu balik kg..aku duk la depan tv...
tak semena2 berlinang lak ayer mata ku ini..echeh..tu dia....feeling dah mari....ni yg aku lemah ni.
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Mengasihani,
Tuhan yang Maha Mengerti,
Jauhkanlah hati kami daripada kesunyian begini,
Teguhkanlah iman kami,
Berilah kami kekuatan menghadapi ujian-Mu,
Limpahilah kami dengan kasih sayang,
Hindarilah kami daripada perasaan berjauh hati dari Rahmat-Mu.
Monday, August 6, 2012
pecutan terakhir
Salam 2/3 Ramadhan, y'all! Kita ada lg 1/3 bulan mulia nak kejar. How's amalan? As for me..nothing i can be proud of..hehehehe...malu sbb tak byk perubahan dpd last year. come to think of it..klu ini last Ramadhan aku mcmana ek? Kata la aku ini mencari alasan...tp transition dpd bekerja pg ke petang mmg memenatkan. nasib baik la cik abang sporting..kdg2 dia solat terawikh kat umah spy aku dpt jemaah..klu tak, mmg aku buat sdr atau tak buat langsung. Tak senonoh betul! Alhamdulillah ada gak masa luang in between classes to read the Quran...kut tak..sama je la puasa kau dgn puasa budak drjh satu.
Jadi people, dah tinggal hujung2 Ramadhan ni, jom kita catch up mana sempat. jgn sibukkan baju, kasut, handbag, kuih raya... aku dah penat dgr cerita psl raya since 2 bln lepas...dpd tempah bj raya smpi la ke tempah kuih raya...so dah takde la kan isu untuk persiapan raya. May God bless us all and have a worthy Ramadhan.
Jadi people, dah tinggal hujung2 Ramadhan ni, jom kita catch up mana sempat. jgn sibukkan baju, kasut, handbag, kuih raya... aku dah penat dgr cerita psl raya since 2 bln lepas...dpd tempah bj raya smpi la ke tempah kuih raya...so dah takde la kan isu untuk persiapan raya. May God bless us all and have a worthy Ramadhan.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
org belajar puasa
Salam Ramadhan!
Masih cuba utk menyesuaikan diri dgn berpuasa tatkala bekerja waktu petang. after 5 years working in the morning session, fighting fatigue and sleepiness in the afternoon while working is quite a challenge. teruk betul...org kerja office tu lg dr pagi smpi ke petang kan bekerja. tp dema kerja dlm air-cond..ehehehe..mencari alasan aku ni sebenarnya.
Kesian tgk anak murid year 1 and 2 yg kepenatan. sekilas pandang je dah tau, sapa puasa sapa tak. dah tu, kalau pukul 4 boleh terkejar sana terkejar sini....kwn2 dah tak larat dah nak bercakap...90% aku tau jwonnya ialah tak puasa atau puasa separuh hari. takpe la..budak2 kan. Tak sampai hati nak marah2 (walaupun terlepas jugak kalau dah kena yg tak makan saman tu)... buat reading pun alahai..lemah je suaranya. ramai jugak yang tertidur masa buat latihan. usually aku bg dia je dia tidur dlm 5-10 minit then kejutkan dia suruh basuh muka. hehehehe..kalau la aku boleh buat mcm tu.
ada jugak yang puasa selang sehari atau selang dua hari. gasak la budak..janji kau berlatih puasa. tu tak kira yang kejap2 pegi toilet, kejap2 pegi toilet..balik jr dr toilet, basah kuyup kepala. rupanya menyejukkan badan dengan air..hahaha...makruh la nak ooiii. (aku pun dulu sama gak..tp tak buat la kat sekolah..buat kat rumah)
macam2 ragam budak kecik baru belajar puasa. kelakar jugak tgk..banyaknya kesian. tapi kagum la dgn semangat nak berpuasa tu...tahniahla utk mak ayah yg latih anak mereka berpuasa.
Dah tu, yang dewasa ni kenapa la ada yg tak nak puasa???????
Masih cuba utk menyesuaikan diri dgn berpuasa tatkala bekerja waktu petang. after 5 years working in the morning session, fighting fatigue and sleepiness in the afternoon while working is quite a challenge. teruk betul...org kerja office tu lg dr pagi smpi ke petang kan bekerja. tp dema kerja dlm air-cond..ehehehe..mencari alasan aku ni sebenarnya.
Kesian tgk anak murid year 1 and 2 yg kepenatan. sekilas pandang je dah tau, sapa puasa sapa tak. dah tu, kalau pukul 4 boleh terkejar sana terkejar sini....kwn2 dah tak larat dah nak bercakap...90% aku tau jwonnya ialah tak puasa atau puasa separuh hari. takpe la..budak2 kan. Tak sampai hati nak marah2 (walaupun terlepas jugak kalau dah kena yg tak makan saman tu)... buat reading pun alahai..lemah je suaranya. ramai jugak yang tertidur masa buat latihan. usually aku bg dia je dia tidur dlm 5-10 minit then kejutkan dia suruh basuh muka. hehehehe..kalau la aku boleh buat mcm tu.
ada jugak yang puasa selang sehari atau selang dua hari. gasak la budak..janji kau berlatih puasa. tu tak kira yang kejap2 pegi toilet, kejap2 pegi toilet..balik jr dr toilet, basah kuyup kepala. rupanya menyejukkan badan dengan air..hahaha...makruh la nak ooiii. (aku pun dulu sama gak..tp tak buat la kat sekolah..buat kat rumah)
macam2 ragam budak kecik baru belajar puasa. kelakar jugak tgk..banyaknya kesian. tapi kagum la dgn semangat nak berpuasa tu...tahniahla utk mak ayah yg latih anak mereka berpuasa.
Dah tu, yang dewasa ni kenapa la ada yg tak nak puasa???????
Friday, July 6, 2012
what if...
"Only you know when you are ready to have a child" - Private Practice season 4.
Yeah, I know TVland don't always provide truth. but sometimes it rings a bell.
Really? You really can know if you are ready to have kids? biological or adoptive...only you can have the answer. Really? please enlighten me.
I think I am ready. But if I am why my body isn't? What if I am not actually ready...that's why I am not granted with any kid of my own. I do believe mind and body don't connect...no matter how positive you might prep you mind to face a bad situation. so my mind says i am ready..but my body says it needs more time.
I don't know. I was in a middle of a heated argument with my loved one recently...it made me think. Is it because we haven't changed like most married couple do that we come as 'not ready' yet. i have my bad traits..he has his own. It's so hard to change things that is so deeply embedded in your personality (strong-headedness, loud) that you feel if you change it you're not you anymore. We still enjoy late nights out and staying in till noon in bed ..we still have brunch instead of b'fast...we still do what we enjoy do during our bachelor years..does it make us 'not ready' in other people eyes? do all the things we do in lives show that we don't want or aren't suitable for kids?
*sigh* I always hear new parents say that once you have kids you will make a 180 degree turn in lifestyles. so do i need to have kids to turn a new leaf? I mean having kids can actually make you a better person, yes? In that case I might need a kid to change me to better person. I am quite pessimistic with this whole biological kids due to some unfortunate setback...but I am totally partial of having adoption kids. Adopting a kid in order to strike some luck to be pregnant or to change you to a better person sounds so selfish. not to mention unfair to the kid..imagine people using you as a ticket to get pregnant. I don't know.. I feel so torn and I am confuse.
Maybe I am being so hard on myself. Maybe i am very analytical on making desicions. I really want to make this relationship works...the thought of us heading for saperate ways scares me. I truly cant visualise having to love somebody that isn't your truly own. but what if it is the answer to save ourselves? I need help!
Yeah, I know TVland don't always provide truth. but sometimes it rings a bell.
Really? You really can know if you are ready to have kids? biological or adoptive...only you can have the answer. Really? please enlighten me.
I think I am ready. But if I am why my body isn't? What if I am not actually ready...that's why I am not granted with any kid of my own. I do believe mind and body don't connect...no matter how positive you might prep you mind to face a bad situation. so my mind says i am ready..but my body says it needs more time.
I don't know. I was in a middle of a heated argument with my loved one recently...it made me think. Is it because we haven't changed like most married couple do that we come as 'not ready' yet. i have my bad traits..he has his own. It's so hard to change things that is so deeply embedded in your personality (strong-headedness, loud) that you feel if you change it you're not you anymore. We still enjoy late nights out and staying in till noon in bed ..we still have brunch instead of b'fast...we still do what we enjoy do during our bachelor years..does it make us 'not ready' in other people eyes? do all the things we do in lives show that we don't want or aren't suitable for kids?
*sigh* I always hear new parents say that once you have kids you will make a 180 degree turn in lifestyles. so do i need to have kids to turn a new leaf? I mean having kids can actually make you a better person, yes? In that case I might need a kid to change me to better person. I am quite pessimistic with this whole biological kids due to some unfortunate setback...but I am totally partial of having adoption kids. Adopting a kid in order to strike some luck to be pregnant or to change you to a better person sounds so selfish. not to mention unfair to the kid..imagine people using you as a ticket to get pregnant. I don't know.. I feel so torn and I am confuse.
Maybe I am being so hard on myself. Maybe i am very analytical on making desicions. I really want to make this relationship works...the thought of us heading for saperate ways scares me. I truly cant visualise having to love somebody that isn't your truly own. but what if it is the answer to save ourselves? I need help!
Monday, June 25, 2012
aku vampire
Sesungguhnya sekarang ini aku rasa aku dah mutated menjadi makhluk nocturnal. siang mengantuk malam berjaga. kenapa? sebagai persediaan menjaga anak kecil yg tak tentu tidur jaga atau sakit peningnya.
HAHAHAHAHAH...just joking...anak kecil apa kejadahnya...BOLA la. apa lagi skang kan tengah Euro. Kalau aku tak sokong diva-diva Spaniard pujaan hati tu sapa lagi kan?( I think Ramos looks waaaaaaaay better with short hair. and Busquets, please jgn asyik dive je. kita nak main bola bukan akrobatik ok?) apatah lagi skang ni aku kerja petang. amboi mak..senang2 hati jek membuta smpi pkl 10, 11 pagi. siap2 then pegi sekolah. boleh? Maka plak tak ngajar Year 6...jadi segala keprluan untuk esok hari telah disediakan di sekolah, maka malam adalah untuk aku dan cik TV aku.
dan aku lihat bayang hitam sudah membentuk di bawah mata aku. dan kedutan mula appear di hujung mata juga. not good. so not good.
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| pics credit to eufa.com |
Friday, June 22, 2012
A year ahead
Alhamdulillah...akhirnya dapat juga pengesahan DG44 aku. Naik la gaji sikit, jgn tak ada. Apa planning?
Ada yang nak tukar kereta, ada yang nak buat dapur. aku tak sure lg tp yang pasti, kasi langsai hutang sikit2 dpd FAMA...hahaha..dah umur cam gini pun masih pinjam duit mak abah. malu weh!
Paling tidak disangka2..cik abang kata tahun depan mesti dah dapat pergi Unrah. mesti kumpul duit dpd sekarang. Insya-Allah. semoga tiada aral melintang. Jeles tgk asyik orang lain jek pegi Umrah..ada tu tiap2 tahun pegi sampai hilang dah feel melawat Tanah Suci. macam pegi holiday jek. Berdebar2 pun ada...sebab ilmu seciput sangat. time to gear up...kumpul ilmu secukupnya. Bila tgk gambar kawan2 gi Umrah, sayu je hati. walaupun tak pernah jejak kaki ke sana, tapi boleh datang rindu. pelik kan, rindu pada yang tak pernah jumpa.
maybe ada org yg baca ni akan kata..eleh, baru niat nak pegi Umrah pun dah kecoh. org lain tu senyap2 jek pegi tau2 dah sampai. takpe la...aku bukan gebang. aku anggap post ini adalah untuk memantapkan niat agar tak mudah digoyah oleh hambatan kerja dan dunia. bukan senang untuk aku kumpul duit. bila ada niat yang baik, Insya-Allah dipermudahkan. betul tak?
Ada yang nak tukar kereta, ada yang nak buat dapur. aku tak sure lg tp yang pasti, kasi langsai hutang sikit2 dpd FAMA...hahaha..dah umur cam gini pun masih pinjam duit mak abah. malu weh!
Paling tidak disangka2..cik abang kata tahun depan mesti dah dapat pergi Unrah. mesti kumpul duit dpd sekarang. Insya-Allah. semoga tiada aral melintang. Jeles tgk asyik orang lain jek pegi Umrah..ada tu tiap2 tahun pegi sampai hilang dah feel melawat Tanah Suci. macam pegi holiday jek. Berdebar2 pun ada...sebab ilmu seciput sangat. time to gear up...kumpul ilmu secukupnya. Bila tgk gambar kawan2 gi Umrah, sayu je hati. walaupun tak pernah jejak kaki ke sana, tapi boleh datang rindu. pelik kan, rindu pada yang tak pernah jumpa.
maybe ada org yg baca ni akan kata..eleh, baru niat nak pegi Umrah pun dah kecoh. org lain tu senyap2 jek pegi tau2 dah sampai. takpe la...aku bukan gebang. aku anggap post ini adalah untuk memantapkan niat agar tak mudah digoyah oleh hambatan kerja dan dunia. bukan senang untuk aku kumpul duit. bila ada niat yang baik, Insya-Allah dipermudahkan. betul tak?
Friday, June 15, 2012
a loss is a loss.
a loss is a loss. big or small. especially if it matters and close to our hearts.
my friend lost her husband today. both of them are my juniors in uni. both of them are kind, sweet people. i can only imagine her pain and her sadness. al-Fatihah to arwah Mohd Fahmi Abd Aziz.they were not that close to me but i really like them. and they make a very adorable couple. i felt sadness but i couldnt cry. i dont know why.
a loss is a loss. may Allah bless the one leaving and especially those left behind...please bless them with
Your compassion and mercy so that they are strong to endure this trying time..
when i kick the bucket, i hope people will remember me. so now i think it is befitting to apologize to anything bad and wrongdoings i have ever done towards you. it is never too early to say sorry...in case i dont get the chance to.
my friend lost her husband today. both of them are my juniors in uni. both of them are kind, sweet people. i can only imagine her pain and her sadness. al-Fatihah to arwah Mohd Fahmi Abd Aziz.they were not that close to me but i really like them. and they make a very adorable couple. i felt sadness but i couldnt cry. i dont know why.
a loss is a loss. may Allah bless the one leaving and especially those left behind...please bless them with
Your compassion and mercy so that they are strong to endure this trying time..
when i kick the bucket, i hope people will remember me. so now i think it is befitting to apologize to anything bad and wrongdoings i have ever done towards you. it is never too early to say sorry...in case i dont get the chance to.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
aku memang suka dapat contact kwn2 lama. seriously...i really treasure my memories with them. bittersweet..or sometimes bitter-not-at-all-sweet...all are precious. tapi kalau dah bertahun ada fb baru nak add aku sbb skang tgh ligat bisnes apakah maknanya? hehehehehe...
manusia..manusia. Aku appreciate kegigihannya mencari harta. aku kagum semangatnya mengumpul kekayaan. tapi agak terkilan jika mencari aku dengan niat nak tambah downline. agaknya dia tgk gambar2 aku tu tembam semacam kan...heheheheh.
I am not exactly a big dreamer. yes, i sure won't reject any cars or designers handbag if were given the chance...but to pursue the unimaginable expensive things..not me. i dont have the drive to go out and seek my fortune just to enable me to trot around the globe in my label attire and luoboutin heels. i do admire those who can afford it, though..but that is that.
Harta dunia mcma air laut. makin kau hirup makin kau haus. aku bukanla ambitious sgt orgnya tapi itu lah aku. someone who is easily pleased and easy to satisfy. kasut kungfu RM 15 pun dah gembirakan aku. aku org yang membosankan buatmu..maaf jika apa yg aku pamerkan tidak secocok angan kau itu. tapi kalau kau nak hulur aku kasut Ferragamo kau tu aku tak tolak...ekekekekeke.
maaf la sahabat. aku bukan la Melayu yg Dr. Mahathir banggakan. tapi aku cuba utk menjadi terbaik utk diri aku sendiri dan mungkin akan jatuh dan tersungkur dalam perjalanan. antara hikmah Allah bagi bila aku tak dpt zuriat lagi adalah terkawalnya keinginan aku kepada worldly possession. mungkin lah.
manusia..manusia. Aku appreciate kegigihannya mencari harta. aku kagum semangatnya mengumpul kekayaan. tapi agak terkilan jika mencari aku dengan niat nak tambah downline. agaknya dia tgk gambar2 aku tu tembam semacam kan...heheheheh.
I am not exactly a big dreamer. yes, i sure won't reject any cars or designers handbag if were given the chance...but to pursue the unimaginable expensive things..not me. i dont have the drive to go out and seek my fortune just to enable me to trot around the globe in my label attire and luoboutin heels. i do admire those who can afford it, though..but that is that.
Harta dunia mcma air laut. makin kau hirup makin kau haus. aku bukanla ambitious sgt orgnya tapi itu lah aku. someone who is easily pleased and easy to satisfy. kasut kungfu RM 15 pun dah gembirakan aku. aku org yang membosankan buatmu..maaf jika apa yg aku pamerkan tidak secocok angan kau itu. tapi kalau kau nak hulur aku kasut Ferragamo kau tu aku tak tolak...ekekekekeke.
maaf la sahabat. aku bukan la Melayu yg Dr. Mahathir banggakan. tapi aku cuba utk menjadi terbaik utk diri aku sendiri dan mungkin akan jatuh dan tersungkur dalam perjalanan. antara hikmah Allah bagi bila aku tak dpt zuriat lagi adalah terkawalnya keinginan aku kepada worldly possession. mungkin lah.
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| kasut kungfu merahku |
Sunday, June 10, 2012
what make my day
hari ni kepenatan sbab dari semalam rewang utk majlis yassin kat rumah mak. biasala, family agak besar, kaki makan plak tu...mcm2 makanan ada. nasi ambeng lauk ayam msk kicap, sambal goreng, serunding, sayur kacang n urap, popis, rojak asma, 5 jenis kuih, pulut kuning. ntah tekak mana yg nak makan. so aku dah sungguh-sungguh kepenatan.
mlm lak cuba2 dengar Ustaz Azhar Idus berceramah. bukan apa, nak tau gak apa yg seronok sgt ceramah dia dan apa org suka sgt dgn dia ni.
so as i am writing this, i am fighting to keep my eyes open because i still have to drive home. hubby wants to finish the first halo of Netherlands - Denmark game. pastu ada hati nak bangun tgk game Portugal - Germany. boleh??
sambil2 tu check FB dpt perkhabaran gembira. Anak murid didikan dlm handball tersenarai utk pemilihan team Malaysia!!!!!! gembiranya!!!! cikgu tak main smpi jauh2, anak murid pun jadi la....kan? Malam ni tido tersenyum nampaknya...
mlm lak cuba2 dengar Ustaz Azhar Idus berceramah. bukan apa, nak tau gak apa yg seronok sgt ceramah dia dan apa org suka sgt dgn dia ni.
so as i am writing this, i am fighting to keep my eyes open because i still have to drive home. hubby wants to finish the first halo of Netherlands - Denmark game. pastu ada hati nak bangun tgk game Portugal - Germany. boleh??
sambil2 tu check FB dpt perkhabaran gembira. Anak murid didikan dlm handball tersenarai utk pemilihan team Malaysia!!!!!! gembiranya!!!! cikgu tak main smpi jauh2, anak murid pun jadi la....kan? Malam ni tido tersenyum nampaknya...
Monday, June 4, 2012
hijab turban
are you game? ada beran? hahahaha...aku mmg tak ade nya la.
asasnya adalah ini...sekarang dah siap2 jual kat inner utk gaya turban. so tak nmpk la aurat bahagian leher tu.
moden and bling bling skit. dema yg suka bergaya minat la stail ini.
bila kau tmbh sanggul arab dan pakai bersama turban, maka jadilah stail yg mana kau ini mungkin dilihat berasal dpd spesis alien.
ha, yg ini aku rasa adalah hasil sabotaj oleh stylist Tok Ti. I swear kat Air Hitam byk tudung saji jenis yg mcm atas kepala dia tu..
betul tak aku cakap?
maybe aku akan buat gaya turban tersendiri...
bergaya adalah atas keberanian masing-masing. nak kata aku salute sgt org yg berani bergaya ni tak jugak..tapi ada sepicis kekaguman la dengan keberanian mereka itu. yg pasti aku tak minat langsung gaya turban sebab bila berturban ni kelihatan seperti ahli sihir @ witch.
kan sama?
=)
asasnya adalah ini...sekarang dah siap2 jual kat inner utk gaya turban. so tak nmpk la aurat bahagian leher tu.
moden and bling bling skit. dema yg suka bergaya minat la stail ini.
ha, yg ini aku rasa adalah hasil sabotaj oleh stylist Tok Ti. I swear kat Air Hitam byk tudung saji jenis yg mcm atas kepala dia tu..
betul tak aku cakap?
bergaya adalah atas keberanian masing-masing. nak kata aku salute sgt org yg berani bergaya ni tak jugak..tapi ada sepicis kekaguman la dengan keberanian mereka itu. yg pasti aku tak minat langsung gaya turban sebab bila berturban ni kelihatan seperti ahli sihir @ witch.
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| ini adalah Queen Grimhilde aka stepmom of Snow White |
kan sama?
=)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
retail therapy
some people shop because they have money. some shop even though they don't have any money. some people shop for fun. some people shop to celebrate. some shop because they are stressed. well, i am in the latter category.
I noticed a few years back that i have the tendency to shop for things when i am mad or stressed or angry. especially when angry. It started when i was in my first year of uni where i received the news that my dear grandma passed away. ( Al-Fatihah to her). so in a midst of anger and sadness i went out and bought a RM100 pair of shoes. a good one, i tell you. i felt better for a while because the happiness of owning something new masked the great loss in my heart.
Since then I noticed that i have been in that same pattern a few times. and last few days, i was mad at my hubby. so while a i was trying to control my anger he took me to Klang. what happened? i spent RM550 buying a lot of kain ela for jubah. about 10 of them. and i dont even like jubah! so right now I am a budding entrepeneuer selling kain ela to families and friends. how lovely is that? oh my, i hope i am not evolving into another shopaholic who would later have to confess her addiction..('confession of a shopaholic', get it?)
soalan standard teacher Azlin:
Sapa nak angkat tangan!
Monday, May 28, 2012
RVC tensen
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| lampu kuning plak... |
Hari ni agak tension. so aku buat Red Velvet Cake. dpt la 2 dozen lebih. pastu aku tercangak2 sebab tak tau sapa nak makan. takpe la, aku bawak balik umah mak mertua aku. bagi la kat sepupu sepapat rumah sebelah2 tu. ye tak?
Sapa nak angkat tangan!!!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
kecintaan
Ada apa dengan cinta?
sesuatu yg tidak akan Tuhan tanya.
bukan cinta itu yang Dia mahu tahu.
Tapi kebertanggungjawaban yg datang bersama cinta itu.
Berapa sen sangatlah nilai cinta
jika syariat tidak kita jaga.
jika tidak berserta niat demi kerana-Nya.
Disebalik setiap perbuatan dan kerja
jika kita tidak tahu niat dan sebabnya
buanglah rasa hina dan cerca
bukalah hati untuk perkara lebih murni
mungkin untuk menyelamatkan akidah barangkali?
Ya, aku memang sedang bercinta
sejak dahulu hingga kini aku dilamun cinta
namun cinta itu tak membuat aku buta
kemanusiaan, empati, simpati
memberi aku jati diri
dan membuatkan cinta dalam diriku lebih bererti.
sesuatu yg tidak akan Tuhan tanya.
bukan cinta itu yang Dia mahu tahu.
Tapi kebertanggungjawaban yg datang bersama cinta itu.
Berapa sen sangatlah nilai cinta
jika syariat tidak kita jaga.
jika tidak berserta niat demi kerana-Nya.
Disebalik setiap perbuatan dan kerja
jika kita tidak tahu niat dan sebabnya
buanglah rasa hina dan cerca
bukalah hati untuk perkara lebih murni
mungkin untuk menyelamatkan akidah barangkali?
Ya, aku memang sedang bercinta
sejak dahulu hingga kini aku dilamun cinta
namun cinta itu tak membuat aku buta
kemanusiaan, empati, simpati
memberi aku jati diri
dan membuatkan cinta dalam diriku lebih bererti.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
a day under the sun
PERKHEMAHAN KO-KURIKULUM SKPP 2012
Teluk Gorek, Mersing
ok, so these are not the camping photos. these are my niece, my hubby and me photos. biasa la...kitaorg mmg suka berposing.
I need a weekend getaway. so this time I didn't take pics of the camping kids. just the three of us and some anak2 cikgu. it's amazing how fast children can get along with each other. no prejudice. no agenda. why can't adults be like that?
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| one of our rare pics together. (wow, i look big!) |
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now i look REALLLLYYYY big next to the tiny girl. |
Thanks to my forever designated driver, En. Hubby. At the end of the day, he had the most fun because he learned how to 'memukat ikan' courtesy of the resort owner. He has even thought of going back to Mersing for another holiday. YAY!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
splendid day
people always say 'it's not the destination, it's the journey that counts'. well, if it is true, i really want my journey to as short and as less painful as possible.
last time i recall, a king intervened with my IUI.
this time, it from God. i might have new perspective on the phrase 'divine intevention'. i have been chaotic these past few days having my va-jay-jay scanned, eating this and that drug, having myself injected at the precise moment...only to find out at the very last minute that my IUI cant be carried out because of my husband's poor swimmers. (ok, u might says it is very unholy of me to tell story about my husband but that is the truth. that is among the reason of our infertility and if u need to know, 50% of infertilities in the world is because of male infertility.)
what can i say? doc wanted me to take a month break, and because Ramadan is approaching, i have to take a break for another month.
i had nothing on my mind when he told me the heartbreaking news..i tried not to cry but the tears just flowed. i was in awe..because i was soooo ready to do the IUI and so ready to be heartbroken on the next period i was totally unprepared for this premature halt.
and i cried. and i blame myself. and i blame my hausband. and i blame God. i blame the universe. heck i even swear those mothers-to-be took ALL my luck for themselves. to add salt to the wound..my IUI was on the day of all preggers come to for their monthly check. and there i was unable to try to get pregnant surrounded by big bellied, big assed pregnant mothers with oh-look-at-my-pregnant-glow on their faces. i hate preggers!
oh, look..there were many husbands come together for support..touching bellies, feeling movement...oh SICK!
and today, ironically....my SIL gave birth to a baby boy. WHAT JOY!!!!! yahooo! splendid!
isn't that just lovely?
(do you hear that? that is the sound of my positive outlook on life goes down the drain)
last time i recall, a king intervened with my IUI.
this time, it from God. i might have new perspective on the phrase 'divine intevention'. i have been chaotic these past few days having my va-jay-jay scanned, eating this and that drug, having myself injected at the precise moment...only to find out at the very last minute that my IUI cant be carried out because of my husband's poor swimmers. (ok, u might says it is very unholy of me to tell story about my husband but that is the truth. that is among the reason of our infertility and if u need to know, 50% of infertilities in the world is because of male infertility.)
what can i say? doc wanted me to take a month break, and because Ramadan is approaching, i have to take a break for another month.
i had nothing on my mind when he told me the heartbreaking news..i tried not to cry but the tears just flowed. i was in awe..because i was soooo ready to do the IUI and so ready to be heartbroken on the next period i was totally unprepared for this premature halt.
and i cried. and i blame myself. and i blame my hausband. and i blame God. i blame the universe. heck i even swear those mothers-to-be took ALL my luck for themselves. to add salt to the wound..my IUI was on the day of all preggers come to for their monthly check. and there i was unable to try to get pregnant surrounded by big bellied, big assed pregnant mothers with oh-look-at-my-pregnant-glow on their faces. i hate preggers!
oh, look..there were many husbands come together for support..touching bellies, feeling movement...oh SICK!
and today, ironically....my SIL gave birth to a baby boy. WHAT JOY!!!!! yahooo! splendid!
isn't that just lovely?
(do you hear that? that is the sound of my positive outlook on life goes down the drain)
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
funny little things in life
so, this is my IUI update.... we were stalled on the last moment of our phase (i was supposed to be injected by this hormone or trigger or something for 2 days before the big step of IUI) because of.....(drum roll, please) His Majesty throning event. can you believe that? a king has literally stopped me from having baby. How strong an excuse is that? Imagine this:
stranger: Kau ni bila lagi nak ada anak? org lain dah sibuk antar anak gi sekolah kau still mcm ni..
Aku: abis, Dipertuan Agong naik takhta...dia tak bagi org kerja...suma kena cuti..kang kalau lawan derhaka plak kang..
hahahahahaha...funny kan? kan? you do get the joke, dont you?
Alahai....
If there is an only trait in me that i am proud of, that i want my mini me to inherit, that i want people to remember me when i kick the bucket, that annoy the person i love to hate is my morbid sense of humour. the most crying i endure in a single session is about an hour. then i would get massive headache, puffy eyes and blocked nose. but when i laugh, i can go on and on and on and on.....
seriously, my dad once told me to stop laughing so easily because the giggling and the endorphine is making me fat! now i know where i get the funny bone from...abah, abah.....when is asked him where on earth did he get this idea he said all funny people in TV is fat...(well, Neil Patrick Harris is a rare species i supposed). clearly my dad spent waaaaaay too much time watching Maharaja Lawak.
If anything is taken away from me, i pray to God not to take my sense of humour. it's a life saver. it's an ice breaker. it's the thing that my man loves about me. i am his ultimate Jack Black, his animated kung fu Panda. i am his clown. if he cheats on me, i swear i would pray really hard so he gets a seriously boring, control ayu kind of girl..so he will suffer to death...hahahaha!
we have decided to go easy on this trying time. to breathe easy and go with the flow. being somber might upset my ovum, it might shrivel like asam boi. my mucus will have higher pH and that will destroy the swimming seeds. my fellopian tubes might change route up towards my nose instead of to my ovaries. hah!
so if i do mope, let me be...for an hour at most. remind me that the crow feet around my eyes are getting more pronounced everytime i sulk.
stranger: Kau ni bila lagi nak ada anak? org lain dah sibuk antar anak gi sekolah kau still mcm ni..
Aku: abis, Dipertuan Agong naik takhta...dia tak bagi org kerja...suma kena cuti..kang kalau lawan derhaka plak kang..
hahahahahaha...funny kan? kan? you do get the joke, dont you?
Alahai....
If there is an only trait in me that i am proud of, that i want my mini me to inherit, that i want people to remember me when i kick the bucket, that annoy the person i love to hate is my morbid sense of humour. the most crying i endure in a single session is about an hour. then i would get massive headache, puffy eyes and blocked nose. but when i laugh, i can go on and on and on and on.....
seriously, my dad once told me to stop laughing so easily because the giggling and the endorphine is making me fat! now i know where i get the funny bone from...abah, abah.....when is asked him where on earth did he get this idea he said all funny people in TV is fat...(well, Neil Patrick Harris is a rare species i supposed). clearly my dad spent waaaaaay too much time watching Maharaja Lawak.
If anything is taken away from me, i pray to God not to take my sense of humour. it's a life saver. it's an ice breaker. it's the thing that my man loves about me. i am his ultimate Jack Black, his animated kung fu Panda. i am his clown. if he cheats on me, i swear i would pray really hard so he gets a seriously boring, control ayu kind of girl..so he will suffer to death...hahahaha!
we have decided to go easy on this trying time. to breathe easy and go with the flow. being somber might upset my ovum, it might shrivel like asam boi. my mucus will have higher pH and that will destroy the swimming seeds. my fellopian tubes might change route up towards my nose instead of to my ovaries. hah!
so if i do mope, let me be...for an hour at most. remind me that the crow feet around my eyes are getting more pronounced everytime i sulk.
Friday, March 30, 2012
hiccups
last week masa gi jumpa doc, she asked me to come for the next appointment on second day. so asked "2nd day of period or after period?" she said "after period". asked again twicw and she still said after period.
so being curious and as far as i am concern, i googled the IUI procedures. apparently i need to have my med on the 2nd day of period. Shit!! i miss it by two days already. so td call O&G, kena bebel la kat nurse psl kena dtg awal patutnya. bangkai betul la....
i am quite superstitious..so i am very worried if this is just a bad sign of tings to come or what.. belum apa2 dah tak betul. this is bad..very bad..
so being curious and as far as i am concern, i googled the IUI procedures. apparently i need to have my med on the 2nd day of period. Shit!! i miss it by two days already. so td call O&G, kena bebel la kat nurse psl kena dtg awal patutnya. bangkai betul la....
i am quite superstitious..so i am very worried if this is just a bad sign of tings to come or what.. belum apa2 dah tak betul. this is bad..very bad..
Monday, March 26, 2012
our journey to become parents
aritu ke JB untuk appointment. actually tertinggal previous appointment sbb masa tu result UPSR keluar. mmg takleh lari dah..so mcm biasa kan kat govt. hospital...it took ages to get another appointment. set bulan 11 dpt bulan 3. lama kan?
so after scan...(hehehehe...they had to insert the camera into my va-jay-jay.. rasa kelakar plak) i was given green light to proceed to the next phase.
IUI.
wooohoooo...aku rasa nak terkencing ada, nak joget2 pun ada. bila google procedures IUI mcm cuak lak. serius...berdebar2...not good...we are supposed to be calm.
luckily my doc were nice. Dr. Erlynda...cheerful person. kalau tak dia, Dr. Siti Muslihat...aku tak tipu, mmg nama dia klasik mcm tu. orgnya serius tp setakat dah jumpa beberapa kali boleh tahan lemah lembut. in a good way. tried to transfer my case to BP but the there's no fertility unit here..kena la ulang alik ke jb.
if you are reading this, please pray for us. we need this badly because we have become unpatient enough lately trying not to punch people's faces everytime the issue come up. and i truly believe it is non of their business to know whether we have done this, done that... we dont even try explain in details to our parents.
and to be bombarded with pregnancy -up-to-the-minute development and every milestones of that child in FB and tweeter, the burden seems unbearable. but we have no right to ask the happy parents to stop rubbing it our face right?
again...please spare a few seconds of your time to pray for us. thanks.
so after scan...(hehehehe...they had to insert the camera into my va-jay-jay.. rasa kelakar plak) i was given green light to proceed to the next phase.
IUI.
wooohoooo...aku rasa nak terkencing ada, nak joget2 pun ada. bila google procedures IUI mcm cuak lak. serius...berdebar2...not good...we are supposed to be calm.
luckily my doc were nice. Dr. Erlynda...cheerful person. kalau tak dia, Dr. Siti Muslihat...aku tak tipu, mmg nama dia klasik mcm tu. orgnya serius tp setakat dah jumpa beberapa kali boleh tahan lemah lembut. in a good way. tried to transfer my case to BP but the there's no fertility unit here..kena la ulang alik ke jb.
if you are reading this, please pray for us. we need this badly because we have become unpatient enough lately trying not to punch people's faces everytime the issue come up. and i truly believe it is non of their business to know whether we have done this, done that... we dont even try explain in details to our parents.
and to be bombarded with pregnancy -up-to-the-minute development and every milestones of that child in FB and tweeter, the burden seems unbearable. but we have no right to ask the happy parents to stop rubbing it our face right?
again...please spare a few seconds of your time to pray for us. thanks.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
first cake
first time buat full size kek. Red Velvet utk kak esah. her baby's first besday. aku kata order la choc cake, kan bdk2 suka choc. apa dia jawab.."ala budak setahun apa la dia tahu sedap ke tak..tekak aku ni yg nak mkn.." sempoi ko kak...
okay, okay...korg dah selalu tgk kek lagi canggih manggih kan...tp ni kan first time aku buat kek..ekekeke..kasik can la...
menggelabah sbb ptg tu cuaca panas, tak hujan dah dua hari, so creamcheese cepat cair. pastu the fruits kept sliding off the cake. sabar je lah. mmg buat lg 2 jam nak deliver, sbb taknak simpan lama2 dlm my unreliable fridge.
alhamdulillah..kak esah suka! yay!
not bad for first timer kan? (hidup mesti perasan...)
okay, okay...korg dah selalu tgk kek lagi canggih manggih kan...tp ni kan first time aku buat kek..ekekeke..kasik can la...
menggelabah sbb ptg tu cuaca panas, tak hujan dah dua hari, so creamcheese cepat cair. pastu the fruits kept sliding off the cake. sabar je lah. mmg buat lg 2 jam nak deliver, sbb taknak simpan lama2 dlm my unreliable fridge.
alhamdulillah..kak esah suka! yay!
not bad for first timer kan? (hidup mesti perasan...)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
bukan gua
aku bukan hidup dalam gua. tak ada cahaya, sendiri dan tak perlu org luar bergaul dgn saya. begitu juga engkau.
sebab itu Allah jadikan keluarga dan kawan2 daripada berbilang bangsa. untuk bergaul dan bertukar pendapat. tapi bukan bermakna kita kena jadi hamba pendapat diaorg. hamba pendapat itu ialah apabila kita terlalu concern dgn apa kata org sekeliling sampaikan kita sendiri tak ada keberanian untuk menegakkan pendapat sendiri. pernah dengar istilah "fashion victim"? aku rasa golongan fashion victim ini adalah hamba kepada pendapat 'cendiakawan fesyen' yg dictate apa yg trendy dan apa yg out dated. Apabila terlalu concern dgn pendapat semasa ini maka jadilah situasi dimana akak2 kita berfesyen yg bukan2 tak sesuai agama dan majlis.
tapi hati2..sbb bila kau jadi terlalu opinionated pun, kau akan jd egocentric. bahawa sanya kau la h yg benar... org lain suma kaku, suma kolot, suma berfikiran ketinggalan. berbalik kepada di atas. disebabkan kita hidup bersosial lah kita kena jugak dengar pendapat org lain. kadang2 bila kita terlalu taksub dgn ilmu seciput dalam dada kita rasakan org lain salah dan terlalu berburuk sanngka. kena ingat bahawa setiap apa yg kita buat adalah berpagarkan syariat dan undang2. ye, mungkin betul kau berniat baik, idea kau tip top, kau cemerlang bla bla bla. "NIAT TAK MENGHALALKAN CARA". bila apa yg kau buat mengikut hati kau, tanpa mengira hati org tersayang...kau rasa bila dibangkang adalah fitnah terhadap kau. harus kau ingat yg adalah tanggungjawab kita untuk menglakkan diri daripada difitnah. jauhi diri daripada memberi peluang untuk difitnah. luaskan lingkup sosial kita dan baru kau tahu bahawa apabila kita dihujani fitnah dan tanggapan negatif, kita sebenarnya perlu stop sejenak dan nilai semula jika tindakan kau itu salah atau benar.
dan aku adalah org yang acapkali perlu berhenti dan berfikir kerana sikap impulsif aku selalu memberi makna salah. aku hanya pertahankan hak aku dan pada masa yang sama perlu menjaga hati ramai pihak agar tidak disalahertikan. halangan aku adalah kerana aku hidup di kelompok kelurga yg besar. dan aku harap kau juga menjaga hati aku kerana aku tak tahu jika pengorbanan aku itu akan kau hargai.
sebab itu Allah jadikan keluarga dan kawan2 daripada berbilang bangsa. untuk bergaul dan bertukar pendapat. tapi bukan bermakna kita kena jadi hamba pendapat diaorg. hamba pendapat itu ialah apabila kita terlalu concern dgn apa kata org sekeliling sampaikan kita sendiri tak ada keberanian untuk menegakkan pendapat sendiri. pernah dengar istilah "fashion victim"? aku rasa golongan fashion victim ini adalah hamba kepada pendapat 'cendiakawan fesyen' yg dictate apa yg trendy dan apa yg out dated. Apabila terlalu concern dgn pendapat semasa ini maka jadilah situasi dimana akak2 kita berfesyen yg bukan2 tak sesuai agama dan majlis.
tapi hati2..sbb bila kau jadi terlalu opinionated pun, kau akan jd egocentric. bahawa sanya kau la h yg benar... org lain suma kaku, suma kolot, suma berfikiran ketinggalan. berbalik kepada di atas. disebabkan kita hidup bersosial lah kita kena jugak dengar pendapat org lain. kadang2 bila kita terlalu taksub dgn ilmu seciput dalam dada kita rasakan org lain salah dan terlalu berburuk sanngka. kena ingat bahawa setiap apa yg kita buat adalah berpagarkan syariat dan undang2. ye, mungkin betul kau berniat baik, idea kau tip top, kau cemerlang bla bla bla. "NIAT TAK MENGHALALKAN CARA". bila apa yg kau buat mengikut hati kau, tanpa mengira hati org tersayang...kau rasa bila dibangkang adalah fitnah terhadap kau. harus kau ingat yg adalah tanggungjawab kita untuk menglakkan diri daripada difitnah. jauhi diri daripada memberi peluang untuk difitnah. luaskan lingkup sosial kita dan baru kau tahu bahawa apabila kita dihujani fitnah dan tanggapan negatif, kita sebenarnya perlu stop sejenak dan nilai semula jika tindakan kau itu salah atau benar.
dan aku adalah org yang acapkali perlu berhenti dan berfikir kerana sikap impulsif aku selalu memberi makna salah. aku hanya pertahankan hak aku dan pada masa yang sama perlu menjaga hati ramai pihak agar tidak disalahertikan. halangan aku adalah kerana aku hidup di kelompok kelurga yg besar. dan aku harap kau juga menjaga hati aku kerana aku tak tahu jika pengorbanan aku itu akan kau hargai.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
really?
it's early in the morning. spending mindless hours in front of the laptop. duh....takde keja or byk keja dah di'automated'kan? btw, came across this sick article about some dumb artis n anak org kaya.
really?
menampar org on the 3rd day of marriage?
run away during honeymoon? to bangkok? for fun?
after all the hoopla surrounding their grand wedding and more antah berantah about their nasty separation, we are now reading the teeny weeny fine details about the divorce proceeding?
kesian.
and all they are left between them with is a.........................................................BABY.
really?
a baby?
untungnya badan.
really?
menampar org on the 3rd day of marriage?
run away during honeymoon? to bangkok? for fun?
after all the hoopla surrounding their grand wedding and more antah berantah about their nasty separation, we are now reading the teeny weeny fine details about the divorce proceeding?
kesian.
and all they are left between them with is a.........................................................BABY.
really?
a baby?
untungnya badan.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
the big deal with Erykah Badu
So everyone knew about the concert cancellation. and the reason it is cancelled. no, i am not going to post her pic..you can google it.
aku tak la fan sgt dgn dia ni..aku cuma tau dia ni is considered hebat and otai kut kat dunia muzik. so bila dikhabarkan berita dia akan perform kat msia of course la warga 'industri seni Malaysia' dan peminat2 muzik akan beramai2 menonton dia ni. dengan genre soul ke apa tah...kau rasa ramai giler ke tau lagu2 dia? maybe aku la yang kolot tak tau lagu dia..aku cuma tau nama dia.
yang aku kesalkan ialah berapa ramai manusia yang mencerca tindakan pembatalan konsert tu. kau tak caya? tgk la link ni. sinis dan macam tak berfikir jauh. mostly sbb mereka rasa alasan bertatu itu terlalu dangkal. Baki Zainal (who the heck is this guy? i only knew him as one of the host on 8tv) said "we r easily insulted" and "kalau sbb tatu maka rmi la artis takleh cari makan kat msia ni"..well, dia tweet byk sgt so aku try to summarize tweets dia tu.
and i think...
1) ya, klu alasan bertatu itu menyebabkan si biduanita soul itu di banned maka mmg dangkal. tapi miss Badu bukan sekadar bertatu tetapi bertatu nama Allah. walau pun temporary. maybe other religion can compromise the fact that their religous and spiritual believe can be the butt of jokes..but not Islam. klu sbb bertatu tu la takleh perform kat msia, maka dah lama dah artis oversea tak dtg sini. come on la...jgn la betrolak ansur psl agama walaupun kita tak ni tak dikira alim dan warak. agama kau tu..if u dont respect your own belief, then who will? kalau nak diikutkan, tak perlu pun konsert tu diadakan kat sini.
2) the singer herself only said " i deserve it". tuan empunya diri pun boleh cool awat la peminat lak yg marah kan? rilek la... If you really knew Erykah Badu, then you must have known all her controversial antics di US. whatever she does, she is all aware of all the consequences.
3) kalau betul la apa yg dikata Baki Zainal, then betul la rumours pasal ramai artis kita bertatu? hehehehe...sila cari sdr la sapa celebrity (celebrity la sangat yg bertatu).
4) akupun tak nafi la..kdg2 lembaga penapisan dan kementerian bertanggungjawab kat msia ni mcm melatah. aku rasa semua kontroversi ni dpt di elak jika diaorg buat homework dulu sapa erykah ni..bukan dah bg pass and then cancel. again, she no stranger in controversials issues due tu her forthrightness..so klu pihak berkuasa buat homework,this will not happen. agaknya Lady Gaga dpt perform tak kat msia? ekekekeke)
no offence...kita semua ada idea dan buah fikiran masing2..tp berhati2 jgn smpi melanggar 3 ikatan syahadah kita pada Allah iaitu syahadah di lidah, syahadah di hati dan syahadah di perbuatan.
Peace, ya'll!
aku tak la fan sgt dgn dia ni..aku cuma tau dia ni is considered hebat and otai kut kat dunia muzik. so bila dikhabarkan berita dia akan perform kat msia of course la warga 'industri seni Malaysia' dan peminat2 muzik akan beramai2 menonton dia ni. dengan genre soul ke apa tah...kau rasa ramai giler ke tau lagu2 dia? maybe aku la yang kolot tak tau lagu dia..aku cuma tau nama dia.
yang aku kesalkan ialah berapa ramai manusia yang mencerca tindakan pembatalan konsert tu. kau tak caya? tgk la link ni. sinis dan macam tak berfikir jauh. mostly sbb mereka rasa alasan bertatu itu terlalu dangkal. Baki Zainal (who the heck is this guy? i only knew him as one of the host on 8tv) said "we r easily insulted" and "kalau sbb tatu maka rmi la artis takleh cari makan kat msia ni"..well, dia tweet byk sgt so aku try to summarize tweets dia tu.
and i think...
1) ya, klu alasan bertatu itu menyebabkan si biduanita soul itu di banned maka mmg dangkal. tapi miss Badu bukan sekadar bertatu tetapi bertatu nama Allah. walau pun temporary. maybe other religion can compromise the fact that their religous and spiritual believe can be the butt of jokes..but not Islam. klu sbb bertatu tu la takleh perform kat msia, maka dah lama dah artis oversea tak dtg sini. come on la...jgn la betrolak ansur psl agama walaupun kita tak ni tak dikira alim dan warak. agama kau tu..if u dont respect your own belief, then who will? kalau nak diikutkan, tak perlu pun konsert tu diadakan kat sini.
2) the singer herself only said " i deserve it". tuan empunya diri pun boleh cool awat la peminat lak yg marah kan? rilek la... If you really knew Erykah Badu, then you must have known all her controversial antics di US. whatever she does, she is all aware of all the consequences.
3) kalau betul la apa yg dikata Baki Zainal, then betul la rumours pasal ramai artis kita bertatu? hehehehe...sila cari sdr la sapa celebrity (celebrity la sangat yg bertatu).
4) akupun tak nafi la..kdg2 lembaga penapisan dan kementerian bertanggungjawab kat msia ni mcm melatah. aku rasa semua kontroversi ni dpt di elak jika diaorg buat homework dulu sapa erykah ni..bukan dah bg pass and then cancel. again, she no stranger in controversials issues due tu her forthrightness..so klu pihak berkuasa buat homework,this will not happen. agaknya Lady Gaga dpt perform tak kat msia? ekekekeke)
no offence...kita semua ada idea dan buah fikiran masing2..tp berhati2 jgn smpi melanggar 3 ikatan syahadah kita pada Allah iaitu syahadah di lidah, syahadah di hati dan syahadah di perbuatan.
Peace, ya'll!
Friday, February 24, 2012
my first order!
ari tu mak suruh buat ni..
untuk bff dia, GPK 1 sklh aku sbb nk celebrate birthday org tu. sbb ada lebih dlm beberapa cwn aku bwk la buat jamah kwn2 semeja aku..rupanya masing2 pegi roundkan satu bilik guru. dpt la msg2 rasa sorg sesudu dua.
tup tup..ada la plak sorg akak ni nk order dgn aku kek ni. tp x nak version cupcake, dia nak full size punya. alamak..aku ckp la aku tak penah buat kek saiz biasa tp dia kat dia nak jugak sbb kek ni sedap. dia tak penah rasa red velvet....maklum la, kat pt raja mana la ada kedai kek canggih manggih mcm kat bndr besar kan...siap bg semangat lg....'boleh la lin..akak suka sgt kek ni...try buat dulu..decorate simple2 pun takpe'..
so aku kata Insya-Allah je la. walhal dlm hati sudah berbunga2 gembira nak try sumthing new. ye la kan, mana tau ada rezeki bleh jd side income kan..ekekekekeke...
wish me luck, people...Chaiyok Lin!!!
 |
| red velvet yg tak berapa red sbb food coloring 'wes entek' |
untuk bff dia, GPK 1 sklh aku sbb nk celebrate birthday org tu. sbb ada lebih dlm beberapa cwn aku bwk la buat jamah kwn2 semeja aku..rupanya masing2 pegi roundkan satu bilik guru. dpt la msg2 rasa sorg sesudu dua.
tup tup..ada la plak sorg akak ni nk order dgn aku kek ni. tp x nak version cupcake, dia nak full size punya. alamak..aku ckp la aku tak penah buat kek saiz biasa tp dia kat dia nak jugak sbb kek ni sedap. dia tak penah rasa red velvet....maklum la, kat pt raja mana la ada kedai kek canggih manggih mcm kat bndr besar kan...siap bg semangat lg....'boleh la lin..akak suka sgt kek ni...try buat dulu..decorate simple2 pun takpe'..
so aku kata Insya-Allah je la. walhal dlm hati sudah berbunga2 gembira nak try sumthing new. ye la kan, mana tau ada rezeki bleh jd side income kan..ekekekekeke...
wish me luck, people...Chaiyok Lin!!!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Cikgu saya
1985
aku ada sorg cikgu yg aku paling ingat. sbb dia ni nama dia mula dgn huruf V. mana ada org start nama tu kan? dia cikgu kelas aku dr darjah 1 smpi darjah 3. 3 kuning di SK Pintas Puding. smpi skang dia mengajar kat sklh yg sama. ( dia tak bosan ke?).
2012
kami skang rakan sekerja! HOW COOL IS THAT?????? and yeah, i still call her Cikgu Vatinah instead of Kak Vee.
aku ada sorg cikgu yg aku paling ingat. sbb dia ni nama dia mula dgn huruf V. mana ada org start nama tu kan? dia cikgu kelas aku dr darjah 1 smpi darjah 3. 3 kuning di SK Pintas Puding. smpi skang dia mengajar kat sklh yg sama. ( dia tak bosan ke?).
2012
kami skang rakan sekerja! HOW COOL IS THAT?????? and yeah, i still call her Cikgu Vatinah instead of Kak Vee.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
kek cawan
 |
| mocha cupcakes with caramel n oreo buttercream |
Happy Birthday, abah!
(walaupun the cakes are requested by org2 yg nak balik ke sarang masing2)
Friday, January 20, 2012
soalan maut kpd suami: ingat tak hari ni hari apa?
hari ni WHI kat tv3 membincangkan isu rumahtangga yg sering kali jd bahan utk para isteri meajuk. apa lagi...kes tak ingat anniversary atau besday la. isu 'berat' tu...so ramai la wanita2 menelepon meluahkan rasa rajuk yg suaminya tak ingat anniversary.
ini sekadar pendapat aku la ye...kalau ko rs byk buruk dpd baik ko amalkan. kut ko rs aku ni xde perasaan jgn ikut..anggaplah aku ni salah jantina..ekekekekeke.
ye, aku penah la merajuk sbb laki aku yg terchenta tu lupa anniversary. mula2 tu pujuk..tp dah msk 3 thn merajuk dia buat derk aje. pastu aku pun malas la nak merajuk2 lg. aku sorg2 je celebrate beli hadiah, masak bagai...dia mcm tu gak. toya jek...
so, penghabisannya aku decide malas la nak celebrate2. lg pun mcm kat entry ni atau ini....aku rs takde keperluan sgt la untuk aku nak ingat dan nak celebrate dan nak merajuk sbb laki lupa dan nak pujuk memujuk semata2 kerana tarikh yg satu ni. nooo...i am not heartless, i am hopelessly romantic actually...tp skang dah kureng skit. maklum la dah tua2 ni lebih realistik agaknya.
dan aku rs pendekatan lelaki utk kurg ingat hari2 atau tarikh2 keramat tu menyebabkan hidup para lelaki kat bumi ni lebih aman dan damai, kurang stress. agaknya la. dan aku pun rs nak hidup kurang stress, spy pjg umur...maka aku cuba2 la tak nak mengisah sgt dgn tarikh2 keramat kecuali tarikh roadtax, lesen, credit card dll expired.
obviously klu ko rs tarikh tu penting, go ahead..celebrate lah..good for both of you. dan kalau hubby korg sertakan tarikh tu dgn jambangan bunga sebesar kereta, kereta, cincn berlian berkarat2 atau handbag harga sebulan gaji korg...lagi bagus. klu setakat kerja gomen cabuk mcm ktorg berdua ni, takyah la mengharapkan beg LV ori atau bunga sejambak RM100 atau dinner kat hotel. kesian laki tu..dah la bersusahpayah nak ingat (simpan dlm BB atau PC) kena plak bg hadiah (salah hemat hadiah tu korg tak berkenan). pastu korg lak yg bersusahpayah nak merajuk. ekekekekeke...!
ingat...jgn tiru mcm aku klu korg rs aku ni hati kaudu!
ini sekadar pendapat aku la ye...kalau ko rs byk buruk dpd baik ko amalkan. kut ko rs aku ni xde perasaan jgn ikut..anggaplah aku ni salah jantina..ekekekekeke.
ye, aku penah la merajuk sbb laki aku yg terchenta tu lupa anniversary. mula2 tu pujuk..tp dah msk 3 thn merajuk dia buat derk aje. pastu aku pun malas la nak merajuk2 lg. aku sorg2 je celebrate beli hadiah, masak bagai...dia mcm tu gak. toya jek...
so, penghabisannya aku decide malas la nak celebrate2. lg pun mcm kat entry ni atau ini....aku rs takde keperluan sgt la untuk aku nak ingat dan nak celebrate dan nak merajuk sbb laki lupa dan nak pujuk memujuk semata2 kerana tarikh yg satu ni. nooo...i am not heartless, i am hopelessly romantic actually...tp skang dah kureng skit. maklum la dah tua2 ni lebih realistik agaknya.
dan aku rs pendekatan lelaki utk kurg ingat hari2 atau tarikh2 keramat tu menyebabkan hidup para lelaki kat bumi ni lebih aman dan damai, kurang stress. agaknya la. dan aku pun rs nak hidup kurang stress, spy pjg umur...maka aku cuba2 la tak nak mengisah sgt dgn tarikh2 keramat kecuali tarikh roadtax, lesen, credit card dll expired.
obviously klu ko rs tarikh tu penting, go ahead..celebrate lah..good for both of you. dan kalau hubby korg sertakan tarikh tu dgn jambangan bunga sebesar kereta, kereta, cincn berlian berkarat2 atau handbag harga sebulan gaji korg...lagi bagus. klu setakat kerja gomen cabuk mcm ktorg berdua ni, takyah la mengharapkan beg LV ori atau bunga sejambak RM100 atau dinner kat hotel. kesian laki tu..dah la bersusahpayah nak ingat (simpan dlm BB atau PC) kena plak bg hadiah (salah hemat hadiah tu korg tak berkenan). pastu korg lak yg bersusahpayah nak merajuk. ekekekekeke...!
ingat...jgn tiru mcm aku klu korg rs aku ni hati kaudu!
Friday, January 13, 2012
kerana dirimu berharga
hari ini terbaca kisah Wardina dirompak. seram ye bila membaca kes rompakan begini. maklum la..zaman org dah takde hati perut ni bukan boleh aci..suma dibalun aje..tak kisah halal haram lagi dah.
tapi yang menyentuh hati aku ialah apabila Wardina menceritakan saat suaminya, Ikhwan mempertahankan agar isterinya tidak disentuh dan dihampiri kerana dia tidak betudung waktu itu. aku andaikan yang Wardina hanya sempat menutup auratnya dengan selimut saja.
Romantik kan? dalam keadaan darurat sebegitu masih sempat suami mempertahankan maruah isterinya. maksud aku, tak perlu menunggu saat untuk dipegang atau diraba atau diusik lagi suami telah meminta isteri jgn dihampiri kerana tidak bertudung. betapa besarnya nilai dan hak aurat isteri kepada suami..jgnkan disentuh, dilihat pun tak boleh.
jadi, bertitik tolak daripada artikel yg dibaca itu...aku berazam dan menanam tekad untuk menjaga aurat sebaik yg boleh, tidak memakai short sleeves shirt dan yang senagkatan dengannya. kerana aku terpanggil untuk menyimpan hak suamiku daripada diwenang-wenangnya dilihat org lain. kerana aku dan suami berhak untuk memiliki exclusivity apa yg org lain tak boleh miliki.semoga teguh tekad ini, semoga kita semua begitu...Insya Allah...
tapi yang menyentuh hati aku ialah apabila Wardina menceritakan saat suaminya, Ikhwan mempertahankan agar isterinya tidak disentuh dan dihampiri kerana dia tidak betudung waktu itu. aku andaikan yang Wardina hanya sempat menutup auratnya dengan selimut saja.
Romantik kan? dalam keadaan darurat sebegitu masih sempat suami mempertahankan maruah isterinya. maksud aku, tak perlu menunggu saat untuk dipegang atau diraba atau diusik lagi suami telah meminta isteri jgn dihampiri kerana tidak bertudung. betapa besarnya nilai dan hak aurat isteri kepada suami..jgnkan disentuh, dilihat pun tak boleh.
jadi, bertitik tolak daripada artikel yg dibaca itu...aku berazam dan menanam tekad untuk menjaga aurat sebaik yg boleh, tidak memakai short sleeves shirt dan yang senagkatan dengannya. kerana aku terpanggil untuk menyimpan hak suamiku daripada diwenang-wenangnya dilihat org lain. kerana aku dan suami berhak untuk memiliki exclusivity apa yg org lain tak boleh miliki.semoga teguh tekad ini, semoga kita semua begitu...Insya Allah...
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
sibuknya...
benn very busy lately.... doing these
so far..hasilnya ini...
can't wait to be the queen of mi casa!!
so far..hasilnya ini...
can't wait to be the queen of mi casa!!
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